Dear Murray a tasty, tasty bitch beloved and feared by hordes of basement-dwelling illiterati and their fierce antagonists, the Grammar Nazis. He single-handedly turned the webcam whorefest of Myspace into a lively commerce of ideas, including whether or not the TUBGIRL photo will ever be topped as a postmodern expression of the inexpressible. According to web historians, he has inspired more photoshop projects and syphilis jokes than Britney Spears (who he has been repeatedly linked romantically to). He is also rumoured to be the father of Anna Nicole Smith's baby, a disciple of Cliff Yablonski, and the second gunman on the grassy knoll. Although he could not be reached for comment, he reportedly resides in or near the tent cities along the LA River Basin, third right after the walrus sunning station.
He has vehemently denied all charges that he is any any way responsible for that rash your wife claims "is from the heat".
His primary function is doling out advice; the inspiration sprang from an endless and eventually dull repetition of fucktards failed to heed his words.
A secondary result is a dysfunctional family "round table" of people who contribute innumerable one-liners and personal experiences, rarely related in any way to the actual question.
It is estimated that tens of thousands of readers have "LOL'd" approximately 5,395,645,694,167,467,105 times, with the toll expected to rise.
He is immune to kryptonite, chlamydia, and brainwashing.
Wikipedia has banned PENCILTITS's entry, debating the relevance of his tasty bitchiness.
Dear Murray – I am in love. It is honestly the most healthy open relationship I’ve ever been in, and he treats me better than I could have ever expected. But I have issues(who doesn’t?). he has a lot of friends who are girls, he always has…I was one of […]
Dear Murray, I’m six years younger than him, but already I can tell I’ve been through so much more Life. He sounds so naive sometimes, and I haven’t even told him. Oh Murray, I just couldn’t bear to see him hurt. What am I to do? -Wise Beyond My Years […]
Dear Murray, Why do so many strangers think I look like someone they know? Is the gene pool slipping so much that we are all looking alike? Should I just become a body double? Signed, No, I’m not that guy. You know it’s a sad state of society when one […]
Dear Murray, Let’s share the love a little bit, here. After all those shrill, self-righteous rants I just read against fat people, I’m feeling a little left out. You see, I’m a recovering anorexic. I am 5’8″ tall, and at various points in my life I’ve weighed as little as […]
Creepin’ christ, you fucking kooks. Dearmurray.com is a privately-owned blog. If I had corporate backing, do you think my site would look so shitty and be powered by WordPress with a fucking out of the box premade template? Oh, and wordpress is a free install with a godaddy hosting account, […]