Dear Murray a tasty, tasty bitch beloved and feared by hordes of basement-dwelling illiterati and their fierce antagonists, the Grammar Nazis. He single-handedly turned the webcam whorefest of Myspace into a lively commerce of ideas, including whether or not the TUBGIRL photo will ever be topped as a postmodern expression of the inexpressible. According to web historians, he has inspired more photoshop projects and syphilis jokes than Britney Spears (who he has been repeatedly linked romantically to). He is also rumoured to be the father of Anna Nicole Smith's baby, a disciple of Cliff Yablonski, and the second gunman on the grassy knoll. Although he could not be reached for comment, he reportedly resides in or near the tent cities along the LA River Basin, third right after the walrus sunning station.
He has vehemently denied all charges that he is any any way responsible for that rash your wife claims "is from the heat".
His primary function is doling out advice; the inspiration sprang from an endless and eventually dull repetition of fucktards failed to heed his words.
A secondary result is a dysfunctional family "round table" of people who contribute innumerable one-liners and personal experiences, rarely related in any way to the actual question.
It is estimated that tens of thousands of readers have "LOL'd" approximately 5,395,645,694,167,467,105 times, with the toll expected to rise.
He is immune to kryptonite, chlamydia, and brainwashing.
Wikipedia has banned PENCILTITS's entry, debating the relevance of his tasty bitchiness.
Dear Murray: I need your help. I have this friend who has been in a relationship for about 10 years. They’ve been engaged for the past four years, but about a year ago, my friend got suspicious of her fiance and went through his wallet. She found out that he […]
Dear Murray: I’ve always been curious about how strippers deal with the flow. Although the Mesopotamians (hell, every ancient culture) believed that women shouldn’t work, prepare food, or travel whilst bleeding, modern girls can’t just take a week off. But what if you work naked? Thongs with a tampon string […]
This morning, I received the following email: From: Larry Sinclair (Add as Preferred Sender) ? Date: Thu, Feb 21, 2008 10:13 am To: murray@dearmurray.com Murray, this cooment I am sure will be edited to your needs. However, I am notifying you that the comments you have cut and pasted from […]
Dear Murray: Okay, here’s the story: We’ve been apart on and off for about 4 months now. You probably remember me from a situation that happened here with him a month and a half ago..the whole thing was a bunch of crap and he lied big time about us not […]
The ridiculous details outlined here, along with the hilarious article in Globe, lead me to believe that this is all just another amatuer Sinclair Swift Boat attempt. Considering how he has failed not one, but two lie detector tests on the claims, and uh, attempted to hit up YouTube users […]