Will Beg for Caviar

Dear Murray; i hate poor snobs. don’t misread me, i give up my seat to old people and if a bum says he just wants money for some booze, i’ll buy him a fo’ty. i am super so nice. but just now, having dinner, i was approached by an aggressive panhandler. an old woman, healthy and reasonably articulate, well-groomed except for very sketchy dental structure. whilst she was enjoying strawberry …continue…

Internet Dating Disasters, episode 10: Lisa

Life can be rough, being in a brand new big city, not a goddamned friend in the whole town. You were just fired from your job. You’re collecting unemployment. Your day consists of: waking at 11, grabbing a breakfast burrito from Jim’s Burgers, an Oil Tanker Gulp– from 7-11 (your meal for the day), applying for jobs until 1, then masturbating to internet porn until you cry your sorry ass …continue…