Dear Murray a tasty, tasty bitch beloved and feared by hordes of basement-dwelling illiterati and their fierce antagonists, the Grammar Nazis. He single-handedly turned the webcam whorefest of Myspace into a lively commerce of ideas, including whether or not the TUBGIRL photo will ever be topped as a postmodern expression of the inexpressible. According to web historians, he has inspired more photoshop projects and syphilis jokes than Britney Spears (who he has been repeatedly linked romantically to). He is also rumoured to be the father of Anna Nicole Smith's baby, a disciple of Cliff Yablonski, and the second gunman on the grassy knoll. Although he could not be reached for comment, he reportedly resides in or near the tent cities along the LA River Basin, third right after the walrus sunning station.
He has vehemently denied all charges that he is any any way responsible for that rash your wife claims "is from the heat".
His primary function is doling out advice; the inspiration sprang from an endless and eventually dull repetition of fucktards failed to heed his words.
A secondary result is a dysfunctional family "round table" of people who contribute innumerable one-liners and personal experiences, rarely related in any way to the actual question.
It is estimated that tens of thousands of readers have "LOL'd" approximately 5,395,645,694,167,467,105 times, with the toll expected to rise.
He is immune to kryptonite, chlamydia, and brainwashing.
Wikipedia has banned PENCILTITS's entry, debating the relevance of his tasty bitchiness.
Dear Murray: After binging on cocaine for 12 days, I experienced some rough heart palpitations. I sent my rent-a-girl home, gave her the rest of the white as a tip, went to bed and got some sleep. Its been two days and I haven’t touched the Bolivian Marching Powder but […]
Dear Murray, been reading your blog now for a while and i have to say “good work” its just so funny, how do you do it? why cant i make my blog funny too? mine is complete balls compared to yours, so i have just gave in tryin. Doyle There […]
Dear Murray, Do nice guys really finish last? I already know the answer, because I am a nice guy, but I think it would be entertaining and informative to hear your point of view. Thanks. Well, this just may be the most redundant question ever. Why do nice guys finish […]
What recession? How can we complain about the economy when some asshole still has the time and money to make crap like this in their garage? Yes, that’s a real genuine homemade “Ronald McDonald” clown shoe car, captured on the streets of Portland, Oregon. Parents, don’t let your kids near […]
Dear Murray, My fiance’ was in an abusive marriage before I met her. Her ex-husband is like the King of Douches. How can I deal with this problem without involving police, or at least becoming a suspect? Overprotective in Wisconsin Haha. Sucks to be you! Here, you thought you were […]