Your Blog is Complete Balls

Dear Murray,
been reading your blog now for a while and i have to say “good work” its just so funny, how do you do it? why cant i make my blog funny too? mine is complete balls compared to yours, so i have just gave in tryin.

There may be more truth in this question than in any of the questions I’ve ever been asked in my life. Yes, it’s true. Your blog IS “complete balls.” But, it could be worse! At least you know it, and knowing is the first step to recovery.

Giving up trying is the best damn thing you can do, too. TRYING to be funny is perhaps the most counterproductive endeavors man can ever undertake. I’m looking at YOU, Carlos Mencia. I’m looking at YOU, Andy Dick. I’m looking at YOU, entire SNL alumni 1995-present.

If it’s funny to you, fucking say it. Usually, other people will laugh. Whether they’re laughing with you or at you is irrelevant. The funniest motherfuckers alive don’t even know it. It’s better that they don’t! Legendary case in point: }-{ello my future girlfriend. You cannot intentionally plan shit to be that funny.

So quit with the trying bullshit. If you wanna be funny, you need to pick a side. Do you want to be the butt of the joke, or the maker of the joke? Both sides are required in this whole symbiotic comedic relationship, neither more or less important than the other.

(just kidding, as soon as I press “Post” you’re gonna be the butt of roughly 173 jokes, so you really have no choice in the matter).


Now leave me the fuck alone.