Author Archives
Dear Murray
Dear Murray a tasty, tasty bitch beloved and feared by hordes of basement-dwelling illiterati and their fierce antagonists, the Grammar Nazis. He single-handedly turned the webcam whorefest of Myspace into a lively commerce of ideas, including whether or not the TUBGIRL photo will ever be topped as a postmodern expression of the inexpressible. According to web historians, he has inspired more photoshop projects and syphilis jokes than Britney Spears (who he has been repeatedly linked romantically to). He is also rumoured to be the father of Anna Nicole Smith's baby, a disciple of Cliff Yablonski, and the second gunman on the grassy knoll. Although he could not be reached for comment, he reportedly resides in or near the tent cities along the LA River Basin, third right after the walrus sunning station.
He has vehemently denied all charges that he is any any way responsible for that rash your wife claims "is from the heat".
His primary function is doling out advice; the inspiration sprang from an endless and eventually dull repetition of fucktards failed to heed his words.
A secondary result is a dysfunctional family "round table" of people who contribute innumerable one-liners and personal experiences, rarely related in any way to the actual question.
It is estimated that tens of thousands of readers have "LOL'd" approximately 5,395,645,694,167,467,105 times, with the toll expected to rise.
He is immune to kryptonite, chlamydia, and brainwashing.
Wikipedia has banned PENCILTITS's entry, debating the relevance of his tasty bitchiness.
Dear Murray, In your blog, someone wrote in about having sex with someone unattractive. I don’t understand this point of view. To me, life is too short to want to have anything to spend time with someone you don’t like, let alone get nasty with them. Otherwise, it seems there […]
Estimated reading time: 3 minutes
Dear Murray: hi i have read alot of the stuff you had typed and agreed with it thats why im asking you for some help if you could you see i live in floirda and this guy i am going out with lives in ohio i am 25 hes 29 […]
Estimated reading time: 3 minutes
Dear Murray: You may not remember my story, but I wrote you last year. The guy I was involved with was about to get married in November. After reading your response and the criticizing comments from others, I decided to give you an update. Well, yes he did get married. […]
Estimated reading time: 5 minutes
So, being stuck behind millions of you fuckers on the 405, I’ve learned a thing or twenty about your asses. I don’t even have to see your stupid faces anymore. All I’ve gotta do is take a glance at your car, and I’ll know ALL I NEED TO KNOW about […]
Estimated reading time: 39 seconds
Dear Murray: Why the fuck does everyone hate Wal-Mart so much? All it does is employ all the immigrants and hold them down and away from the good jobs? It is puzzling. Oh, I loves me some Wal Marts. That’s what the folks in Indiana call them, ’cause they add […]
Estimated reading time: 2 minutes