Wanna Do Some Blow?

Dear Murray: After binging on cocaine for 12 days, I experienced some rough heart palpitations. I sent my rent-a-girl home, gave her the rest of the white as a tip, went to bed and got some sleep. Its been two days and I haven’t touched the Bolivian Marching Powder but my heart still beats irregularly and it sometimes feels like its straining to leap out of my ribcage like one …continue…

Your Blog is Complete Balls

Dear Murray, been reading your blog now for a while and i have to say “good work” its just so funny, how do you do it? why cant i make my blog funny too? mine is complete balls compared to yours, so i have just gave in tryin. Doyle There may be more truth in this question than in any of the questions I’ve ever been asked in my life. …continue…

Do nice guys really finish last?

Dear Murray, Do nice guys really finish last? I already know the answer, because I am a nice guy, but I think it would be entertaining and informative to hear your point of view. Thanks. Well, this just may be the most redundant question ever. Why do nice guys finish last? BECAUSE IT’S SO GODDAMNED EASY TO PUSH YOU PUSSIES AROUND! You remember when you were a kid, and someone …continue…

See the World’s Stupidest Car: the Clown Shoe

What recession? How can we complain about the economy when some asshole still has the time and money to make crap like this in their garage? Yes, that’s a real genuine homemade “Ronald McDonald” clown shoe car, captured on the streets of Portland, Oregon. Parents, don’t let your kids near that shit. It’s a trap! This shit is a real clown pussy magnet. Fuckin’ hippies.

Which Domestic Violence Movie are YOU?

Dear Murray, My fiance’ was in an abusive marriage before I met her. Her ex-husband is like the King of Douches. How can I deal with this problem without involving police, or at least becoming a suspect? Overprotective in Wisconsin Haha. Sucks to be you! Here, you thought you were just settling in for some easy regular action. Now, you’ve gone and gotten yourself in the plot of a Lifetime …continue…