Dear Murray a tasty, tasty bitch beloved and feared by hordes of basement-dwelling illiterati and their fierce antagonists, the Grammar Nazis. He single-handedly turned the webcam whorefest of Myspace into a lively commerce of ideas, including whether or not the TUBGIRL photo will ever be topped as a postmodern expression of the inexpressible. According to web historians, he has inspired more photoshop projects and syphilis jokes than Britney Spears (who he has been repeatedly linked romantically to). He is also rumoured to be the father of Anna Nicole Smith's baby, a disciple of Cliff Yablonski, and the second gunman on the grassy knoll. Although he could not be reached for comment, he reportedly resides in or near the tent cities along the LA River Basin, third right after the walrus sunning station.
He has vehemently denied all charges that he is any any way responsible for that rash your wife claims "is from the heat".
His primary function is doling out advice; the inspiration sprang from an endless and eventually dull repetition of fucktards failed to heed his words.
A secondary result is a dysfunctional family "round table" of people who contribute innumerable one-liners and personal experiences, rarely related in any way to the actual question.
It is estimated that tens of thousands of readers have "LOL'd" approximately 5,395,645,694,167,467,105 times, with the toll expected to rise.
He is immune to kryptonite, chlamydia, and brainwashing.
Wikipedia has banned PENCILTITS's entry, debating the relevance of his tasty bitchiness.
Dear Murray I’m in a band, and lately I haven’t had any time for anything. I never have enough time to sleep. I’ve been thinking of quitting the band, and I need a diplomatic way to let them know. Carl The truth there, buddy, is your band could really care […]
Dear Murray: I met this girl in a bar, and we really hit it off. I asked her for her number, and she gave it to me. I’ve called her twice, and she hasn’t returned my call. What’s up with that? Thanks, Jeff I have a feeling that she hasn’t […]
Dear Murray: My boyfriend of six years and I have been thinking about getting back together. Should we? -Kelly Six years? Are you fucking serious? Haven’t you had enough? In six years, my ex wife got fat, lost 100 lbs, got fat again, lost 75 lbs., got fat again, lost […]
Dear Murray:The new terrorist threat: ladies who ground a flight over something so ignorant Toilet Paper Dust Diverts Vegas-Bound Flight All that time & money wasted to the shitter! The fuel spent on the extra landing/take off. The paychecks of the law enforcement called, investigators, etc. The money spent on […]
It’s Friday, I’m lazy + bored as hell. So, I’m gonna cop off of Olbermann here, and name my Dumbest Mofo in the Whole World for today, Sept. 21, 2007. This is a pretty difficult decision. How can you pick just one, when Dane Cook is sitting out there? I […]