It’s Friday, I’m lazy + bored as hell. So, I’m gonna cop off of Olbermann here, and name my Dumbest Mofo in the Whole World for today, Sept. 21, 2007. This is a pretty difficult decision. How can you pick just one, when Dane Cook is sitting out there? I listened to Bill O’Reilly on the radio the other morning, for the first time ever, and holy hell. To summarize, I think it was basically a debate about who would have capped the Don’t Taser Me, Bro guy faster: Scarface or the Terminator? But I’m not here to completely tax K.O.’s gig, so I’ll leave O’Reilly alone.My nominee for the dumbest motherfucker on the planet? You’ve all seen his face. You’ve posted it in your bulletins and blogs. STOP. PLEASE STOP. Enough of this fraud. That shit ain’t funny. He didn’t give a shit about Britney. It’s all an act from some desperate attention whore to get you to watch his stupid YouTube videos. And you bought it, suckers! Not to mention, he’s a lousy fucking actor.
Please, please, NO MORE FUCKING CHRIS CROCKER.
Dumbest motherfucker in the WHOLE WORLD.
Now leave me the fuck alone, you piece of whiny shit.
Categories: Whoring for Money
Dear Murray
Dear Murray a tasty, tasty bitch beloved and feared by hordes of basement-dwelling illiterati and their fierce antagonists, the Grammar Nazis. He single-handedly turned the webcam whorefest of Myspace into a lively commerce of ideas, including whether or not the TUBGIRL photo will ever be topped as a postmodern expression of the inexpressible. According to web historians, he has inspired more photoshop projects and syphilis jokes than Britney Spears (who he has been repeatedly linked romantically to). He is also rumoured to be the father of Anna Nicole Smith's baby, a disciple of Cliff Yablonski, and the second gunman on the grassy knoll. Although he could not be reached for comment, he reportedly resides in or near the tent cities along the LA River Basin, third right after the walrus sunning station.
He has vehemently denied all charges that he is any any way responsible for that rash your wife claims "is from the heat".
His primary function is doling out advice; the inspiration sprang from an endless and eventually dull repetition of fucktards failed to heed his words.
A secondary result is a dysfunctional family "round table" of people who contribute innumerable one-liners and personal experiences, rarely related in any way to the actual question.
It is estimated that tens of thousands of readers have "LOL'd" approximately 5,395,645,694,167,467,105 times, with the toll expected to rise.
He is immune to kryptonite, chlamydia, and brainwashing.
Wikipedia has banned PENCILTITS's entry, debating the relevance of his tasty bitchiness.