Too old to rock (I need my sleep)

Dear Murray

I’m in a band, and lately I haven’t had any time for anything. I never have enough time to sleep. I’ve been thinking of quitting the band, and I need a diplomatic way to let them know.


The truth there, buddy, is your band could really care less. You’re only in the band because you have a van and they need someone to haul their shit around. You think it was a coincidence that the same day they let you in the band, you had to help the singer move from Hollywood to Silverlake? Also, why do you think they light you that way at your shows? I hate to break it to you, but pitch blackness is not “artistic lighting”.

Now leave me the fuck alone.

9 Responses to Too old to rock (I need my sleep)

  1. Dear Murray,

    I have a problem that I need help with. You see, I am being currently locked in the basment, because my father is a crazy nut case who thinks the Russians are going to attack. I haven’t been outside in 3 months, and I havent eaten anything in days. So my question is this, how do I get a perfect score on minesweeper? Please help me

  2. “Michael Hunt == Rene”

    Excellent deduction, sir! I’d say i’d have to agree with you.

  3. I don’t know about your Michael Hunt ==Rene theory. Rene is usually even less funny than that and manages to squeeze in something racial and/or misogynistic.

  4. Since he has a new moniker here, he feels free to be his true self. (Although he may have had help with the funny from his dad upstairs.)

    I have a feeling his dad just did an air raid drill & then locked the door behind him.

  5. UPDATE!

    Im still trapped in here, and I can’t beat minesweeper. The Minister doesn’t allow such propaganda to be spilled, so daddy keeps me hidden from the public. He once locked mommy in the fridge for two days because she spoke her mind. Now she just sits and looks at nothing. However, I havent seen her in awhile, but the nighlt screams through the pipes at night, because she had gotten night terrors. Well, I almost beat it. Murray! Helps me please!!!!

  6. Only the 2nd post & already this guy’s fucking annoying as hell. Still don’t think it’s Rene?! …or maybe Jaker.

  7. But he could have at least tried by putting a skateboard on the steps or something to make it look accidental.

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