Dear Murray a tasty, tasty bitch beloved and feared by hordes of basement-dwelling illiterati and their fierce antagonists, the Grammar Nazis. He single-handedly turned the webcam whorefest of Myspace into a lively commerce of ideas, including whether or not the TUBGIRL photo will ever be topped as a postmodern expression of the inexpressible. According to web historians, he has inspired more photoshop projects and syphilis jokes than Britney Spears (who he has been repeatedly linked romantically to). He is also rumoured to be the father of Anna Nicole Smith's baby, a disciple of Cliff Yablonski, and the second gunman on the grassy knoll. Although he could not be reached for comment, he reportedly resides in or near the tent cities along the LA River Basin, third right after the walrus sunning station.
He has vehemently denied all charges that he is any any way responsible for that rash your wife claims "is from the heat".
His primary function is doling out advice; the inspiration sprang from an endless and eventually dull repetition of fucktards failed to heed his words.
A secondary result is a dysfunctional family "round table" of people who contribute innumerable one-liners and personal experiences, rarely related in any way to the actual question.
It is estimated that tens of thousands of readers have "LOL'd" approximately 5,395,645,694,167,467,105 times, with the toll expected to rise.
He is immune to kryptonite, chlamydia, and brainwashing.
Wikipedia has banned PENCILTITS's entry, debating the relevance of his tasty bitchiness.
Dear Murray: This girl moved away and won’t write or call my roomate, and he keeps talking about her and how he has forgotten her, but he keeps talking about her and he won’t take her off his “my space” account. Should I tell him that the healthy thing to […]
Dearest Murray, What is really, truly the most humane way to let someone know you aren’t interested in him? After say a few dates and chit chat? Some folks would say it’s best to tell the truth to the dudes face..but I dunno about that. I want to be nice, […]
Dear Murray so if a guy says he’ll call you back and doesn’t, but sends you an email apologizing for not callin you back and sayin he’ll call you that night and doesn’t.. What is up w/ that? Not interested, playin games, or just fuckin busy? -Karen I’ll bet his […]
Dear Murray I’ve been hanging out with this guy that I really like. We’ve been “dating” for a few months now, but have never had sex. Our physical encounters are not what most would consider the norm. *I end up with broken cartlidge, circumorbital hemmatomas,and bites that dont heal for […]
Dear Murray:In about three weeks my 2nd child, a boy, is due to arrive. All is going well so far, and if ultrasounds are any indication, there’ll be 10 fingers and 10 toes. There’ll also be something else … a foreskin ! It begs the question : Do we get […]