Lick my Circumorbital Hematoma

Dear Murray

I’ve been hanging out with this guy that I really like. We’ve been “dating” for a few months now, but have never had sex. Our physical encounters are not what most would consider the norm. *I end up with broken cartlidge, circumorbital hemmatomas,and bites that dont heal for weeks*…I thoroughly enjoy the physical trauma that we inflict on one another. How do I explain this relationship to people who dont deviate from the norm?

-Afflicted Perversion

Let me tell you one thing about normal people. I had some normal people invite me over to dinner. They served me tea, and talked to me about spelunking. Then they showed me their crib. No, I mean their CRIB. They had a giant-sized baby crib and they sit around every night in diapers and feed each other strained baby food and zweiback toast. Are you really concerned about what adults in diapers think about you?

Now leave me the fuck alone.