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Hook, line, sinker, and dumb bitches

Dear Murray

so if a guy says he’ll call you back and doesn’t, but sends you an email apologizing for not callin you back and sayin he’ll call you that night and doesn’t.. What is up w/ that? Not interested, playin games, or just fuckin busy?
-Karen

I’ll bet his old man was alot like mine. When I was a boy, pops sat me on his knee and said “son, you wanna marry a woman who can cook for you, fetch you a beer and has GREAT BIG KNOCKERS.”

You ever watch those fishing shows on TV? These guys sit around throwing out their fishing line, they hook a fish, reel it in a bit, let the fish think it’s gonna get free, then they yank the mother outta the water. They show it off to everyone, and throw it back in the water.

You can learn a lot from fishing shows. Now leave me the fuck alone.

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Categories: Bitches General Malaise

Dear Murray

Dear Murray a tasty, tasty bitch beloved and feared by hordes of basement-dwelling illiterati and their fierce antagonists, the Grammar Nazis. He single-handedly turned the webcam whorefest of Myspace into a lively commerce of ideas, including whether or not the TUBGIRL photo will ever be topped as a postmodern expression of the inexpressible. According to web historians, he has inspired more photoshop projects and syphilis jokes than Britney Spears (who he has been repeatedly linked romantically to). He is also rumoured to be the father of Anna Nicole Smith's baby, a disciple of Cliff Yablonski, and the second gunman on the grassy knoll. Although he could not be reached for comment, he reportedly resides in or near the tent cities along the LA River Basin, third right after the walrus sunning station.

He has vehemently denied all charges that he is any any way responsible for that rash your wife claims "is from the heat".

His primary function is doling out advice; the inspiration sprang from an endless and eventually dull repetition of fucktards failed to heed his words.

A secondary result is a dysfunctional family "round table" of people who contribute innumerable one-liners and personal experiences, rarely related in any way to the actual question.

It is estimated that tens of thousands of readers have "LOL'd" approximately 5,395,645,694,167,467,105 times, with the toll expected to rise.

He is immune to kryptonite, chlamydia, and brainwashing.

Wikipedia has banned PENCILTITS's entry, debating the relevance of his tasty bitchiness.