Dear Murray a tasty, tasty bitch beloved and feared by hordes of basement-dwelling illiterati and their fierce antagonists, the Grammar Nazis. He single-handedly turned the webcam whorefest of Myspace into a lively commerce of ideas, including whether or not the TUBGIRL photo will ever be topped as a postmodern expression of the inexpressible. According to web historians, he has inspired more photoshop projects and syphilis jokes than Britney Spears (who he has been repeatedly linked romantically to). He is also rumoured to be the father of Anna Nicole Smith's baby, a disciple of Cliff Yablonski, and the second gunman on the grassy knoll. Although he could not be reached for comment, he reportedly resides in or near the tent cities along the LA River Basin, third right after the walrus sunning station.
He has vehemently denied all charges that he is any any way responsible for that rash your wife claims "is from the heat".
His primary function is doling out advice; the inspiration sprang from an endless and eventually dull repetition of fucktards failed to heed his words.
A secondary result is a dysfunctional family "round table" of people who contribute innumerable one-liners and personal experiences, rarely related in any way to the actual question.
It is estimated that tens of thousands of readers have "LOL'd" approximately 5,395,645,694,167,467,105 times, with the toll expected to rise.
He is immune to kryptonite, chlamydia, and brainwashing.
Wikipedia has banned PENCILTITS's entry, debating the relevance of his tasty bitchiness.
Dear Murray My dog is sick. What should I do? I don’t live by any veterinarians or animal hospitals. The doctors at the regular human hospital won’t even look at him. He has a fever and he hurts when he walks and he won’t eat and he has a temperature. […]
Hey Murray, maybe you can explain this to me.How the fuck can people misspell your name when it’s all over your profile, blogs and even above the message I am typing to you right now! What’s the fucking deal?! Wonders will never cease, and Y KANT TORI READ? Why can’t […]
Dear Murray I tend to have very bad menstrual cramps , when it’s “that time of the month” and I could also use some help with my breast exam. Can you come over? -Spotty in Silverlake The Chinese like to sip warm Ginger tea to relieve menstrual cramps, but then […]
Dear Murray I am a little worried about your health. Can I examine you? Dr. Evil, Burbank Murray quit going to doctors a long time ago. I had to have this planter’s wart removed off the bottom of my big toe, and this fucking doctor filled me full of anesthetics. […]
Dear Murray I have a crush on this British guy at work, and he seems a little more sophisticated than the guys I usually date. What can I do to get his attention? Amy You’re in luck. Murray has extensive experience dealing with the British. I once punched this British […]