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Flowing like the River Nile

Dear Murray

I tend to have very bad menstrual cramps , when it’s “that time of the month” and I could also use some help with my breast exam.
Can you come over?
-Spotty in Silverlake

The Chinese like to sip warm Ginger tea to relieve menstrual cramps, but then you’ll be sweating like three fat Chinamen in August. There was a whole museum of menstruation which seems like a really helpful tool until you consider that it was run by a 50 year old man out of the house that he shared with his mother. That shit ain’t called for nothing. Check that out and you might be creeped out enough that you’ll forget the cramps altogether.

How the hell can he do that when you’re flowing like the River Nile? Can you picture Murray in a haz-mat suit trying to wade through that shit singing Go down, Moses, way down in Egypt’s land Tell old Pharoh To let my people go? It just ain’t a pretty picture!

Now leave me the fuck alone.

Categories: General Malaise Menstrual Hut

Dear Murray

Dear Murray a tasty, tasty bitch beloved and feared by hordes of basement-dwelling illiterati and their fierce antagonists, the Grammar Nazis. He single-handedly turned the webcam whorefest of Myspace into a lively commerce of ideas, including whether or not the TUBGIRL photo will ever be topped as a postmodern expression of the inexpressible. According to web historians, he has inspired more photoshop projects and syphilis jokes than Britney Spears (who he has been repeatedly linked romantically to). He is also rumoured to be the father of Anna Nicole Smith's baby, a disciple of Cliff Yablonski, and the second gunman on the grassy knoll. Although he could not be reached for comment, he reportedly resides in or near the tent cities along the LA River Basin, third right after the walrus sunning station.

He has vehemently denied all charges that he is any any way responsible for that rash your wife claims "is from the heat".

His primary function is doling out advice; the inspiration sprang from an endless and eventually dull repetition of fucktards failed to heed his words.

A secondary result is a dysfunctional family "round table" of people who contribute innumerable one-liners and personal experiences, rarely related in any way to the actual question.

It is estimated that tens of thousands of readers have "LOL'd" approximately 5,395,645,694,167,467,105 times, with the toll expected to rise.

He is immune to kryptonite, chlamydia, and brainwashing.

Wikipedia has banned PENCILTITS's entry, debating the relevance of his tasty bitchiness.