Dear Murray a tasty, tasty bitch beloved and feared by hordes of basement-dwelling illiterati and their fierce antagonists, the Grammar Nazis. He single-handedly turned the webcam whorefest of Myspace into a lively commerce of ideas, including whether or not the TUBGIRL photo will ever be topped as a postmodern expression of the inexpressible. According to web historians, he has inspired more photoshop projects and syphilis jokes than Britney Spears (who he has been repeatedly linked romantically to). He is also rumoured to be the father of Anna Nicole Smith's baby, a disciple of Cliff Yablonski, and the second gunman on the grassy knoll. Although he could not be reached for comment, he reportedly resides in or near the tent cities along the LA River Basin, third right after the walrus sunning station.
He has vehemently denied all charges that he is any any way responsible for that rash your wife claims "is from the heat".
His primary function is doling out advice; the inspiration sprang from an endless and eventually dull repetition of fucktards failed to heed his words.
A secondary result is a dysfunctional family "round table" of people who contribute innumerable one-liners and personal experiences, rarely related in any way to the actual question.
It is estimated that tens of thousands of readers have "LOL'd" approximately 5,395,645,694,167,467,105 times, with the toll expected to rise.
He is immune to kryptonite, chlamydia, and brainwashing.
Wikipedia has banned PENCILTITS's entry, debating the relevance of his tasty bitchiness.
Dear Murray my fiance and i are having a huge problem in the bedroom. the other day he, um, asked me if i would, um , swallow. I have never done this before, and I am disgusted, but at the same time, i don’t want him to cheat on me… […]
By Dear Murray Associated Pests President Bush on Friday revealed his administration’s plan to quell the raging wildfires that have spread throughout Southern California. “In short,” Bush said with a smug grin, “drop New Orleans on it.” “I’ve spoken to the people of Malibu, and I feel for them. So, […]
Dear Murray Does it mean a guy is stalking you when he calls over 100 times in one day? -Scared in Scarborough Let’s not rush to judgement just yet. Maybe he’s prone to seizures and/or assdialing his cell phone. That many assdials in one day would lead me to believe […]
Dear Murray Last time I checked I wasn’t a dog. So this morning after going to the same place ive been going for coffee for a month now, and after ordering the same drink for a month now, I decide to spice things up and order something different. I believe […]
Dear Murray I have a problem that I really need some clarity on. I’m dating this man, and it’s becoming pretty serious. My dilemma is that he is not that good looking to me. I am used to dating nice looking men and although I love him dearly I can’t […]