Coffee? Never ask me about my coffee

Dear Murray

Last time I checked I wasn’t a dog. So this morning after going to the same place ive been going for coffee for a month now, and after ordering the same drink for a month now, I decide to spice things up and order something different. I believe i have that right as a tax payer. Anywho, we’ll call her “Holly”. HOlly seemed extremely put out by me ordering this new, much harder, (apparently) coffee beverage. She actually says to me….”You arent thinking of changing your drink are you?” Im like….”Uh, just for today, then ill go back”. When I really wanted to say, “Shut up and make me my coffee”. Well after leaving….Im thinking of never going back there. should I divorce this place, or go back and order my old drink just to be sure they dont hawk a loogee in there the next time.


Murray’s word of the day: barrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrista. It’s like some sorta honorary secret society that the rest of us don’t understand. semper fi, semper fi, semper fi. I saw this in a movie once. It starred John Travolta. Travolta played a man who had lots of money, but the world was run by barristas. Travolta would cower every time he walked into a Scarbucks (name changed to protect the innocent) as a band of barrrrrrrrrrrista thugs would tell him what kinda coffee he was gonna get for his $5. The barrrrristas in this movie made $7.00 an hour, a reflection of reality, but power isn’t really about money sometimes.

So, face it. You can either start bringing gifts like your barrrrrista is your fuckin godfather, or you can start drinking the bottled iced coffee stuff. Any loogees that have been hawked into that have at least already been pasteurized.

Now leave me the fuck alone.

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