Dear Murray a tasty, tasty bitch beloved and feared by hordes of basement-dwelling illiterati and their fierce antagonists, the Grammar Nazis. He single-handedly turned the webcam whorefest of Myspace into a lively commerce of ideas, including whether or not the TUBGIRL photo will ever be topped as a postmodern expression of the inexpressible. According to web historians, he has inspired more photoshop projects and syphilis jokes than Britney Spears (who he has been repeatedly linked romantically to). He is also rumoured to be the father of Anna Nicole Smith's baby, a disciple of Cliff Yablonski, and the second gunman on the grassy knoll. Although he could not be reached for comment, he reportedly resides in or near the tent cities along the LA River Basin, third right after the walrus sunning station.
He has vehemently denied all charges that he is any any way responsible for that rash your wife claims "is from the heat".
His primary function is doling out advice; the inspiration sprang from an endless and eventually dull repetition of fucktards failed to heed his words.
A secondary result is a dysfunctional family "round table" of people who contribute innumerable one-liners and personal experiences, rarely related in any way to the actual question.
It is estimated that tens of thousands of readers have "LOL'd" approximately 5,395,645,694,167,467,105 times, with the toll expected to rise.
He is immune to kryptonite, chlamydia, and brainwashing.
Wikipedia has banned PENCILTITS's entry, debating the relevance of his tasty bitchiness.
Dear Murray Just recently, I have broken up with a long-term boyfriend due to issues we could not work out. However, we became very close with another couple while dating. Since the break up, the couple has been distant and awkward around me, although I never speak about the ex […]
Dear Murray when i was 11 i started getting these visits every month. my insides begin spilling and i need to plug myself with them cotton/rayon blends they call tampons. how do i make it stop? esp. on them nights when i have hott dates? Less Absorbing Date won’t go […]
So, the annual Colts-Patriots epic matchup came and went, and did not disappoint. The Colts knocked the Patriots around for a while, had the game in hand, and let it slip away at the end. It was a tough loss, a game we should have won, yadda yadda yadda. Meanwhile, […]
Dear Murray hey, murray, you seem to have a way with words. i try talking to women in bars, but i never seem to have any luck. maybe i’m not saying the right things. please help! tell me what to say! -Speechless in Silverlake You were at the Drawing Room […]
Dear Murray I’ve been doing this online dating thing for quite some time, but it never seems to work out. I’m an attractive, artsy girl with my own apartment, eclectic tastes and a good sense of humor. None of these guys ever want to get serious with me. All I […]