So, the annual Colts-Patriots epic matchup came and went, and did not disappoint. The Colts knocked the Patriots around for a while, had the game in hand, and let it slip away at the end. It was a tough loss, a game we should have won, yadda yadda yadda. Meanwhile, the Patriots can’t let winning be enough. There has been non-stop whining coming out of New England since the fucking game ended.
Jonathan Kraft, the president of the Patriots, accused the Colts of piping in noise. Here’s his proof:
So there’s some weird shit that sounds like a CD skipping going on. Suddenly, every Patriots fan is a fucking sound engineer. “I know for a fact that sound can only happen when a mic is too close to a speaker, blahblahblah.”
Meanwhile, here’s the radio broadcast of the play:
WHA-HEY. No funny noise! No NFL conspiracy. Yes, the Colts DID really almost beat you.Case closed. Quit your goddamn whining, Patriot Nation. You won the game. It obviously left you with a bunch of broken manginas, though.
Now leave me the fuck alone.
Dear Murray a tasty, tasty bitch beloved and feared by hordes of basement-dwelling illiterati and their fierce antagonists, the Grammar Nazis. He single-handedly turned the webcam whorefest of Myspace into a lively commerce of ideas, including whether or not the TUBGIRL photo will ever be topped as a postmodern expression of the inexpressible. According to web historians, he has inspired more photoshop projects and syphilis jokes than Britney Spears (who he has been repeatedly linked romantically to). He is also rumoured to be the father of Anna Nicole Smith's baby, a disciple of Cliff Yablonski, and the second gunman on the grassy knoll. Although he could not be reached for comment, he reportedly resides in or near the tent cities along the LA River Basin, third right after the walrus sunning station.
He has vehemently denied all charges that he is any any way responsible for that rash your wife claims "is from the heat".
His primary function is doling out advice; the inspiration sprang from an endless and eventually dull repetition of fucktards failed to heed his words.
A secondary result is a dysfunctional family "round table" of people who contribute innumerable one-liners and personal experiences, rarely related in any way to the actual question.
It is estimated that tens of thousands of readers have "LOL'd" approximately 5,395,645,694,167,467,105 times, with the toll expected to rise.
He is immune to kryptonite, chlamydia, and brainwashing.
Wikipedia has banned PENCILTITS's entry, debating the relevance of his tasty bitchiness.