Dear Murray a tasty, tasty bitch beloved and feared by hordes of basement-dwelling illiterati and their fierce antagonists, the Grammar Nazis. He single-handedly turned the webcam whorefest of Myspace into a lively commerce of ideas, including whether or not the TUBGIRL photo will ever be topped as a postmodern expression of the inexpressible. According to web historians, he has inspired more photoshop projects and syphilis jokes than Britney Spears (who he has been repeatedly linked romantically to). He is also rumoured to be the father of Anna Nicole Smith's baby, a disciple of Cliff Yablonski, and the second gunman on the grassy knoll. Although he could not be reached for comment, he reportedly resides in or near the tent cities along the LA River Basin, third right after the walrus sunning station.
He has vehemently denied all charges that he is any any way responsible for that rash your wife claims "is from the heat".
His primary function is doling out advice; the inspiration sprang from an endless and eventually dull repetition of fucktards failed to heed his words.
A secondary result is a dysfunctional family "round table" of people who contribute innumerable one-liners and personal experiences, rarely related in any way to the actual question.
It is estimated that tens of thousands of readers have "LOL'd" approximately 5,395,645,694,167,467,105 times, with the toll expected to rise.
He is immune to kryptonite, chlamydia, and brainwashing.
Wikipedia has banned PENCILTITS's entry, debating the relevance of his tasty bitchiness.
Dear Murray, i’ve got this friend that i’ve known for about 10 years or so, and the funny thing is that her husband and mine are best friends. whenever he comes back from being over at their house, or out to lunch with them or whatever, he’s always got a […]
Dear Murray What are your thoughts on prostitution? Should it be legalized or not? It sucks having to go all the way to Tijuana to get some easy ass. -Horny in Hollywood Lemme tell ya, it’s a sad fucking cuntry we live in when you can sell your soul, but […]
Dear Murray: Help me out please. I need an idea of how to exact my revenge without getting arrested. Here’s why: I’ve worked at this piece of shit company for a little over a year now. I was hired to do HR work and instead I get to do bullshit […]
Dear Murray How can I erase a speeding ticket from another state without waking up next to a horse’s head? Stupid fucking California DMV won’t let me get a license here until I pay this other stupid fucking state. -Johnny Knuckles Just why do ya need a California license is […]
Dear Murray i just moved to LA from Dayton, Ohio and I have noticed that I am having problems getting laid. Telling them about my 80’s theme band “Pink Rock Glitter” doesn’t seem to impress them, and all I can afford is a damaged rental car from this werid pakistani […]