Dear Murray a tasty, tasty bitch beloved and feared by hordes of basement-dwelling illiterati and their fierce antagonists, the Grammar Nazis. He single-handedly turned the webcam whorefest of Myspace into a lively commerce of ideas, including whether or not the TUBGIRL photo will ever be topped as a postmodern expression of the inexpressible. According to web historians, he has inspired more photoshop projects and syphilis jokes than Britney Spears (who he has been repeatedly linked romantically to). He is also rumoured to be the father of Anna Nicole Smith's baby, a disciple of Cliff Yablonski, and the second gunman on the grassy knoll. Although he could not be reached for comment, he reportedly resides in or near the tent cities along the LA River Basin, third right after the walrus sunning station.
He has vehemently denied all charges that he is any any way responsible for that rash your wife claims "is from the heat".
His primary function is doling out advice; the inspiration sprang from an endless and eventually dull repetition of fucktards failed to heed his words.
A secondary result is a dysfunctional family "round table" of people who contribute innumerable one-liners and personal experiences, rarely related in any way to the actual question.
It is estimated that tens of thousands of readers have "LOL'd" approximately 5,395,645,694,167,467,105 times, with the toll expected to rise.
He is immune to kryptonite, chlamydia, and brainwashing.
Wikipedia has banned PENCILTITS's entry, debating the relevance of his tasty bitchiness.
Dear Murray I’m having a problem with foot odor. Whenever I get intimate with a girl, and take my shoes off, it kills the moment. It’s ruining my sex life. Please help! -Fungied in Franklin Hills Oh jesus. This reminds me of those Gold Bond powder commercials. You know the […]
Dear Murray Do you believe in fate? Do you believe that things are out of our control, and no matter what we do, we can never avoid our destiny? -namaste Christ, they’ve just gone straight to mainlining the fuckin patchouli these days, haven’t they? Here’s the thing about fate: it’s […]
Dear Murray Are people born faggots? I don’t like gay people and think they are bad people who molest children. My dad says they make kids gay too. I am confused because I don’t want to be gay like those Queer Eye Guys. Taylor Well, first of all, we’re talking […]
Dear Murray Here’s my dilemma. There is a dude I’ve been feelin’. He was really into me in the beginning and I honestly was using him to get over someone else. Well, I basically carried him and he kinda snapped out of it and realized how much he liked me […]
Dear Murray By the end of the show (and he wasn’t drunk…we matched drink for drink) he was putting his arm around me. Weird. After we had sex (at his house…kind of weird) he threw on his clothes almost immediately and ushered me out the door. Needless to say, I […]