Menu Home

Give him the booty. THAT’LL SHOW HIM!

Dear Murray

By the end of the show (and he wasn’t drunk…we matched drink for drink) he was putting his arm around me. Weird. After we had sex (at his house…kind of weird) he threw on his clothes almost immediately and ushered me out the door. Needless to say, I let him in on my displeasure. I would understand if it was the first time I had been in his bedroom at his parents’ house, but it wasn’t. And the other times (we didn’t have sex) he would try to prevent me from leaving. And a while back we had a discussion about “just fucking” someone, and he had asked me (as if he were horrified about the idea) if I would ever just kick him out of bed after sex. Yet that’s just what he did. He told me that’s not what he meant, but how the fuck else should I take it? When I told him last night that it made me feel pretty fucking cheap, he was adamant that it was not his intent. I was still pretty pissed off and feeling like a fool, so I left. Before I drove off I told him, “I understand what this is.” I’ve been back and forth, here and away from the computer, but he seems to have been present an awful lot tonight, yet he doesn’t acknowledge my existence online. Then again, that’s nothing new. But I would think that he might actually try to contact me, seeing as how we left off last night. Fucking hell. I think that if he calls me tomorrow or Saturday and tries to act like nothing happened, I’ll play along. I’ll bring him home Saturday night and I’ll fuck him and then I’LL jump out of bed, not say a word and just throw MY fucking clothes on. And take him home. See how HE likes it.

Hiss Hiss ROAR. I should just take it that he is really not too swift and he didn’t know how it was coming off. We were both tired and needed to wake up early this morning. Oh well.
-confused in cincinnatti

theeeeeese fooolish gaaaaames… are teeeearing meeeee apaaaart.

So, wait a minute. You’re pissed off at him, and you’re going to give him sex? Jesus christ. Where can my readers find a girl like you? I guarantee they can piss you off every day of the week. You’re perpetuating that shit, then ya gotta go ask murray what to do. Someone wrote a song about this:

The wheels on the bus go round and round,
round and round,
round and round.
The wheels on the bus go round and round,
all through the town…

The baby on the bus says “Wah, wah, wah;
Wah, wah, wah;
Wah, wah, wah”.
The baby on the bus says “Wah, wah, wah”,
all through the town.

Sound familiar?

Now leave me the fuck alone.

Categories: Limp Dicks

Dear Murray

Dear Murray a tasty, tasty bitch beloved and feared by hordes of basement-dwelling illiterati and their fierce antagonists, the Grammar Nazis. He single-handedly turned the webcam whorefest of Myspace into a lively commerce of ideas, including whether or not the TUBGIRL photo will ever be topped as a postmodern expression of the inexpressible. According to web historians, he has inspired more photoshop projects and syphilis jokes than Britney Spears (who he has been repeatedly linked romantically to). He is also rumoured to be the father of Anna Nicole Smith's baby, a disciple of Cliff Yablonski, and the second gunman on the grassy knoll. Although he could not be reached for comment, he reportedly resides in or near the tent cities along the LA River Basin, third right after the walrus sunning station.

He has vehemently denied all charges that he is any any way responsible for that rash your wife claims "is from the heat".

His primary function is doling out advice; the inspiration sprang from an endless and eventually dull repetition of fucktards failed to heed his words.

A secondary result is a dysfunctional family "round table" of people who contribute innumerable one-liners and personal experiences, rarely related in any way to the actual question.

It is estimated that tens of thousands of readers have "LOL'd" approximately 5,395,645,694,167,467,105 times, with the toll expected to rise.

He is immune to kryptonite, chlamydia, and brainwashing.

Wikipedia has banned PENCILTITS's entry, debating the relevance of his tasty bitchiness.