Dear Murray a tasty, tasty bitch beloved and feared by hordes of basement-dwelling illiterati and their fierce antagonists, the Grammar Nazis. He single-handedly turned the webcam whorefest of Myspace into a lively commerce of ideas, including whether or not the TUBGIRL photo will ever be topped as a postmodern expression of the inexpressible. According to web historians, he has inspired more photoshop projects and syphilis jokes than Britney Spears (who he has been repeatedly linked romantically to). He is also rumoured to be the father of Anna Nicole Smith's baby, a disciple of Cliff Yablonski, and the second gunman on the grassy knoll. Although he could not be reached for comment, he reportedly resides in or near the tent cities along the LA River Basin, third right after the walrus sunning station.
He has vehemently denied all charges that he is any any way responsible for that rash your wife claims "is from the heat".
His primary function is doling out advice; the inspiration sprang from an endless and eventually dull repetition of fucktards failed to heed his words.
A secondary result is a dysfunctional family "round table" of people who contribute innumerable one-liners and personal experiences, rarely related in any way to the actual question.
It is estimated that tens of thousands of readers have "LOL'd" approximately 5,395,645,694,167,467,105 times, with the toll expected to rise.
He is immune to kryptonite, chlamydia, and brainwashing.
Wikipedia has banned PENCILTITS's entry, debating the relevance of his tasty bitchiness.
Dear Murray I was friends with this girl for a really long time and my best friend was in love with her a couple years ago.. She never liked him like that.. Just recently.. Starting a little over a month ago, we started hanging out more.. The whole group of […]
Dear Murray I’ve been with my bf for 5 years. I’ve outgrown the relationship and don’t know how to tell him. He has a college degree and is working in retail (not even a manager, wtf!?) and wants to hang out with his friends all the time. He doesn’t make […]
Dear Murray if two people are having incredible sex, enjoying themselves immensely (sexually and otherwise), and in generally just being happy, how do they carry on? as a couple? as singletons? should they date other people? should they not, but not commit all the same? how shoudl they behave? like […]
Dear Murray I just realized that the woman who often reminisces about her high school marching band days, and whose brand of humor entails reproducing gastrointestinal sounds is getting more deep dickin’ that I am. I don’t think it’s very fair because I don’t think she’s accepted the fact that […]
Dear Murray: Me and my friends are a pretty close knit group. Admittedly, I like to be the center of attention. But don’t we all from time to time? Pretty much since the beginning, I have been the center of attention, but lately, the tide has shifted to another member […]