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The cost of dating and the good sex discount

Dear Murray

if two people are having incredible sex, enjoying themselves immensely (sexually and otherwise), and in generally just being happy, how do they carry on? as a couple? as singletons? should they date other people? should they not, but not commit all the same? how shoudl they behave? like wanton bunnies? like bff? help!
-two good sex havers

Oh, some fuckin problem you’re having. there are people with much bigger problems than the two of yous. you know why? there are people out there having this very same dilemma right now, and they are having LOUSY sex! fucking lousy ass oops OH GOD SOMEONE MADE A PUDDLE sex.

so if you want me to feel sorry for someone, well, it’s not them, either. i’m not gonna feel pity for a lousy lay. christ. there oughtta be a refund line. keep your receipts!

Del Taco
$2.39 nachos
$0.99 taters
$1.29 soda
-$0.00 amazing sex discount (n/a)

fuck. quit worrying about stupid shit, count your blessings 69 ways and LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE.

Categories: Limp Dicks

Dear Murray

Dear Murray a tasty, tasty bitch beloved and feared by hordes of basement-dwelling illiterati and their fierce antagonists, the Grammar Nazis. He single-handedly turned the webcam whorefest of Myspace into a lively commerce of ideas, including whether or not the TUBGIRL photo will ever be topped as a postmodern expression of the inexpressible. According to web historians, he has inspired more photoshop projects and syphilis jokes than Britney Spears (who he has been repeatedly linked romantically to). He is also rumoured to be the father of Anna Nicole Smith's baby, a disciple of Cliff Yablonski, and the second gunman on the grassy knoll. Although he could not be reached for comment, he reportedly resides in or near the tent cities along the LA River Basin, third right after the walrus sunning station.

He has vehemently denied all charges that he is any any way responsible for that rash your wife claims "is from the heat".

His primary function is doling out advice; the inspiration sprang from an endless and eventually dull repetition of fucktards failed to heed his words.

A secondary result is a dysfunctional family "round table" of people who contribute innumerable one-liners and personal experiences, rarely related in any way to the actual question.

It is estimated that tens of thousands of readers have "LOL'd" approximately 5,395,645,694,167,467,105 times, with the toll expected to rise.

He is immune to kryptonite, chlamydia, and brainwashing.

Wikipedia has banned PENCILTITS's entry, debating the relevance of his tasty bitchiness.