The cost of dating and the good sex discount

Dear Murray

if two people are having incredible sex, enjoying themselves immensely (sexually and otherwise), and in generally just being happy, how do they carry on? as a couple? as singletons? should they date other people? should they not, but not commit all the same? how shoudl they behave? like wanton bunnies? like bff? help!
-two good sex havers

Oh, some fuckin problem you’re having. there are people with much bigger problems than the two of yous. you know why? there are people out there having this very same dilemma right now, and they are having LOUSY sex! fucking lousy ass oops OH GOD SOMEONE MADE A PUDDLE sex.

so if you want me to feel sorry for someone, well, it’s not them, either. i’m not gonna feel pity for a lousy lay. christ. there oughtta be a refund line. keep your receipts!

Del Taco
$2.39 nachos
$0.99 taters
$1.29 soda
-$0.00 amazing sex discount (n/a)

fuck. quit worrying about stupid shit, count your blessings 69 ways and LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE.