Whiny ass bitch loses grip on reality

Dear Murray:

Me and my friends are a pretty close knit group. Admittedly, I like to be the center of attention. But don’t we all from time to time? Pretty much since the beginning, I have been the center of attention, but lately, the tide has shifted to another member of our close knit group. When this first started to happen, I didn’t think much of it. I thought that it might just be a temporary thing, but after a little over a month of the same thing, I am growing increasingly impatient. This may seem shallow of me, but I’m having a tough time not being .1 anymore. What should I do? Should I have a talk with my friends and tell them what’s going on, or should I keep quiet and let the resentment fester and get worse, or ahhhh! I just want to scream. I feel bad because the person that the attention has shifted to is a good friend of mine, so I don’t want to have these jealous feelings, but I can’t help it. The group consists of 2 girls and 2 guys that hang out all of the time, and from time to time, another guy and another girl or two will join us. I had gotten used to always getting all of the attention from the guys, but not long ago, the attention shifted to the other girl that hangs out with us all of the time. I don’t know why, and it is really getting to me. I know that this doesn’t make any sense, so please forgive me. I just needed to vent.
-Jealous Again

Ahh fuckin christ. Did someone not get their little invitation to the butterfly ball? Did you recently gain some weight? Maybe in your BITCH ASS MOUTH? I can’t understand at all why people would lose interest in you, ya whiny little fuck. Ya’d better just quit the bitchin’ and start kissin’ the new queen’s ass, ’cause you’re all washed up.

If ya wanna scream something, try this little mantra: “I’M A BIG WHINY BITCH… I’M A BIG WHINY BITCH… I’M A BIG WHINY BITCH… OM.”

This reminds me of this guy I knew in college. Brady was the man’s name. He was quite possibly the most permanently stoned individual I ever knew. This one time, Brady and I are sitting there stoned, and he looks at me and says “man, i wish Michael Jackson would just DIE and let someone else be the king of pop for awhile.” I’m not sure I’ve ever heard a more brilliant proclamation in my LIFE.

Someone else is the new queen of your little social club, and you know what? It matters the fuck not.

Now leave me the fuck alone.