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Seeing is Believing!

Dear Murray:

My friend has decided to try to set me up with her upstairs neighbor, she’s one of three suites in a house. The guy upstairs has just had an accident at work and broke both his wrists, poor guy!! ha ha She I guess has been talking to his roommate and they both felt he needed company. So we first met at a BBQ at the house with everyone so we don’t feel pressured or anything. Went well I guess! The next day I stopped by to talk to my friend about it and he was there so I didnt’ say anything and headed out of town for a week. He was asking about me and wanted to know when I was going to stop by again. So now it’s been a little bit and I’ve been over to the house and hung out with him with my friend a few times.
Now I guess during a conversation he told her that he was sorta seeing someone in the city! She called me right away and told me. He then asked about me again later and she got mad at him for seeing someone else and still wanting to ask about me. Should I pursue this or let him try for me? He doesnt’ really seem like the kinda guy to come out and make things happen?! So it could end up being a lost cause!!
What should I do?????

-three’s a crowd

This is all so fucking he said/she said. Who really cares? “Seeing” someone? The fuck does that mean, anyway? That can run the whole spectrum. They could meet up once a week to hike, they could be fuck buddies, she may hate his guts but feel sorry for him, so she agrees to hang out with him, but never goes back to his place. Really, it’s wide fucking open.

“Seeing someone”. Are you really bothered by that? It seems so high schoolish to only be able to “see” one person at one time. It could be true that this mothafucka is practically engaged, and just wants a little action on the side. It could be that he’s been on two dates with some girl and they ate ice cream sundaes. If it concerns you, you just gotta ask if he’s got a girlfriend or not. It’s no big fucking deal. Don’t treat it like you’re going to be wearing the guy’s letterman jacket or some shit if you go on a date.

Christ, there have been times when I’ve been “seeing” as many as 6 people at once before. Law of averages. Out of 6, there might be 1 or 2 (if it’s a full moon) who would fucking interest me in the least bit.

I have ADD. I forget what the question was. Rub some antibiotic cream on it, and shut the fuck up.

Now leave me the fuck alone.

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Dear Murray

Dear Murray a tasty, tasty bitch beloved and feared by hordes of basement-dwelling illiterati and their fierce antagonists, the Grammar Nazis. He single-handedly turned the webcam whorefest of Myspace into a lively commerce of ideas, including whether or not the TUBGIRL photo will ever be topped as a postmodern expression of the inexpressible. According to web historians, he has inspired more photoshop projects and syphilis jokes than Britney Spears (who he has been repeatedly linked romantically to). He is also rumoured to be the father of Anna Nicole Smith's baby, a disciple of Cliff Yablonski, and the second gunman on the grassy knoll. Although he could not be reached for comment, he reportedly resides in or near the tent cities along the LA River Basin, third right after the walrus sunning station.

He has vehemently denied all charges that he is any any way responsible for that rash your wife claims "is from the heat".

His primary function is doling out advice; the inspiration sprang from an endless and eventually dull repetition of fucktards failed to heed his words.

A secondary result is a dysfunctional family "round table" of people who contribute innumerable one-liners and personal experiences, rarely related in any way to the actual question.

It is estimated that tens of thousands of readers have "LOL'd" approximately 5,395,645,694,167,467,105 times, with the toll expected to rise.

He is immune to kryptonite, chlamydia, and brainwashing.

Wikipedia has banned PENCILTITS's entry, debating the relevance of his tasty bitchiness.