Fuck the PO-lice, become the PO-lice!

Dear Murray:
where can i gets me one of them there ass whoopin flashlights like the cops carry?.. haha.

don’t they realize they’re on camera? its like people on reality TV shows who *forget* their on camera and start picking their ass or something.

-ebony

Christ, you just made me regress a few years. First of all, that shit was all my parents ever watched. Fucking DirectTV… 15246514652 channels, and their asses lie on the couch stoned, eating chips and watching COPS. Which brings me to random memory #2. I was with my EX WIFE and one of our friends and this friend’s lame boyfriend. Someone decided WE should smoke pot, so lame-o takes us to his dealer’s house. We’re sitting there on the “couch” (was actually like a back seat from a Ford Galaxie) waiting for the deal to be done, and his roommate comes downstairs and gets introduced. He smiles at us. NO FUCKING FRONT TEETH TOP OR BOTTOM. He looked just like Daniel fucking Stern but toothless! Anyway, what was on the TV? COPS.

Why the fuck is it every time you go to some drug dealer’s house, they’re always watching COPS? Are they looking for someone they know? The whole fucking time, I was expecting to see a door kicked open and the back of my head on TV. Motherfuck.

Anyway, you can fucking find anything on ebay. VOILA!. Warning, though. That shit don’t work on white people. I’ve lived in LA long enough to know that all the police equipment is geared to only work on BROWN PEOPLE. So, if you’ve got it in for enough blacks and Mexicans to warrant the expense, HAVE AT IT.

Now leave me the fuck alone.