My job sucks (OMG I BET I’M THE ONLY ONE!)

Dear Murray

I have been contemplating leaving my job for another one. What should I do?

-C

Ahh, hell. If you’re thinking about it enough to use words like “contemplating”, then you should have quit that shithole job a long time ago. You should update your resume and canvas all the job sites. Meanwhile, look into scoring yourself a sexual harrassment case or a frivolous work-related injury lawsuit to get the fuck out of there NOW. Once you give two weeks notice, you have a license for complete and total honesty with your coworkers. Like that fucking guy two cubicles down who sounds like two porpoises mating when he fucking laughs. Dude? Really? You just got divorced? I NEVER WOULD HAVE FUCKING GUESSED THAT ONE!

Once you get that new job making a ton more money, come support Murray so he can be shiftless and lazy. Now leave me the fuck alone.