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LA, Chicago, or New York: who are the biggest assholes?

Dear Murray

I want to get out of this small town, and move to a big city. NYC, Chicago, and LA all look good, but I can’t decide. Which do you prefer?
-Born in a Small Town

This is a very simple question. What’s your personality type? Murray did a test with cabbies in each of three cities, and here are the scientific results: (pick the style that fits your own)

Los Angeles:
Murray: Hi.
Cabbie: Hey, Buddy, where you from? What do you do? Can I make any money at it?

Murray: Hi.
Cabbie: Hey, where ya from, what ya do, when ya leaving??

New York
Murray: Hi.
Cabbie: Hey, who da fuck do you think you are?

I hope this is extremely helpful with your life decisions. Now leave me the fuck alone.

Categories: Links

Dear Murray

Dear Murray a tasty, tasty bitch beloved and feared by hordes of basement-dwelling illiterati and their fierce antagonists, the Grammar Nazis. He single-handedly turned the webcam whorefest of Myspace into a lively commerce of ideas, including whether or not the TUBGIRL photo will ever be topped as a postmodern expression of the inexpressible. According to web historians, he has inspired more photoshop projects and syphilis jokes than Britney Spears (who he has been repeatedly linked romantically to). He is also rumoured to be the father of Anna Nicole Smith's baby, a disciple of Cliff Yablonski, and the second gunman on the grassy knoll. Although he could not be reached for comment, he reportedly resides in or near the tent cities along the LA River Basin, third right after the walrus sunning station.

He has vehemently denied all charges that he is any any way responsible for that rash your wife claims "is from the heat".

His primary function is doling out advice; the inspiration sprang from an endless and eventually dull repetition of fucktards failed to heed his words.

A secondary result is a dysfunctional family "round table" of people who contribute innumerable one-liners and personal experiences, rarely related in any way to the actual question.

It is estimated that tens of thousands of readers have "LOL'd" approximately 5,395,645,694,167,467,105 times, with the toll expected to rise.

He is immune to kryptonite, chlamydia, and brainwashing.

Wikipedia has banned PENCILTITS's entry, debating the relevance of his tasty bitchiness.