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Just who the creepin’ hell is Dear Murray?

Dear Murray

Who are you aside from a crusty old bearded smoker with a penchant for flipping the double bird? You magnifacent bastard! Love the profile. Great shit


Murray is gay in San Francisco, black in South Africa… an anarchist in Spain… a Jew in Germany… an artist without a gallery or portfolio. Fuck. That’s Subcommandante Marcos, not Murray. Murray is a white boy who grew up in the ghetto with parents who “aren’t racist, we just don’t believe in MIXIN’.” Murray is tough on the outside, but all soft on the inside. Murray is not in the business of getting kittens out of trees. If you don’t let them find their own way down, they won’t fuckin know what to do next time, either. Murray won’t call you “around 9:00”. Murray will tell you he’ll call you at 9:17 and he’ll fucking do it.

Tell your friends. Now leave me the fuck alone.

Categories: General Malaise Uncategorized

Dear Murray

Dear Murray a tasty, tasty bitch beloved and feared by hordes of basement-dwelling illiterati and their fierce antagonists, the Grammar Nazis. He single-handedly turned the webcam whorefest of Myspace into a lively commerce of ideas, including whether or not the TUBGIRL photo will ever be topped as a postmodern expression of the inexpressible. According to web historians, he has inspired more photoshop projects and syphilis jokes than Britney Spears (who he has been repeatedly linked romantically to). He is also rumoured to be the father of Anna Nicole Smith's baby, a disciple of Cliff Yablonski, and the second gunman on the grassy knoll. Although he could not be reached for comment, he reportedly resides in or near the tent cities along the LA River Basin, third right after the walrus sunning station.

He has vehemently denied all charges that he is any any way responsible for that rash your wife claims "is from the heat".

His primary function is doling out advice; the inspiration sprang from an endless and eventually dull repetition of fucktards failed to heed his words.

A secondary result is a dysfunctional family "round table" of people who contribute innumerable one-liners and personal experiences, rarely related in any way to the actual question.

It is estimated that tens of thousands of readers have "LOL'd" approximately 5,395,645,694,167,467,105 times, with the toll expected to rise.

He is immune to kryptonite, chlamydia, and brainwashing.

Wikipedia has banned PENCILTITS's entry, debating the relevance of his tasty bitchiness.