I think I am in love with two men at the same time. One guy lives in LA and the other lives in SF.
I am moving to Cali shortly for work – either to LA or SF. I now must decide on where to move and focus on my career. I am very torn because I know where I move will ultimately decide who I will be with. I know I should focus on what is best for me in terms of my work – but my heart is also on the line! Help!
Confused in Connecticut
Damn, girl, you sure get around! I’ve told you before, Murray ain’t the settling type! Ladies get attached to Murray and they gotta go trying to change him. “Don’t be so cranky,” “Tell me I’m pretty,” “Take a bath”. MURRAY CAN’T BE CHANGED!
Do you make a good faghag? There’s nothing wrong with it. My dear old mama was a faghag. If you pick San Fran, though, chances are you’re set in that for life, and you owe it to them to be a damned good one. If you move to LA, you need to run some phrases through your translator. “Let’s do lunch” means “Look, I ain’t callin’ your ass ever again… well, maybe if lunch is at The Standard and you pay.” “I’m working on a screenplay” means “Not really, but I fancy myself an intellectual… NOW LESS TALKING, MORE SUCKING”.
Shit. Who cares? Keep setting up franchises. I hear the men in Budapest are looking!
Now leave me the fuck alone before I fucking cry a river.
Categories: First-Class Whining General Malaise
Dear Murray a tasty, tasty bitch beloved and feared by hordes of basement-dwelling illiterati and their fierce antagonists, the Grammar Nazis. He single-handedly turned the webcam whorefest of Myspace into a lively commerce of ideas, including whether or not the TUBGIRL photo will ever be topped as a postmodern expression of the inexpressible. According to web historians, he has inspired more photoshop projects and syphilis jokes than Britney Spears (who he has been repeatedly linked romantically to). He is also rumoured to be the father of Anna Nicole Smith's baby, a disciple of Cliff Yablonski, and the second gunman on the grassy knoll. Although he could not be reached for comment, he reportedly resides in or near the tent cities along the LA River Basin, third right after the walrus sunning station.
He has vehemently denied all charges that he is any any way responsible for that rash your wife claims "is from the heat".
His primary function is doling out advice; the inspiration sprang from an endless and eventually dull repetition of fucktards failed to heed his words.
A secondary result is a dysfunctional family "round table" of people who contribute innumerable one-liners and personal experiences, rarely related in any way to the actual question.
It is estimated that tens of thousands of readers have "LOL'd" approximately 5,395,645,694,167,467,105 times, with the toll expected to rise.
He is immune to kryptonite, chlamydia, and brainwashing.
Wikipedia has banned PENCILTITS's entry, debating the relevance of his tasty bitchiness.