Murray, what is the best way to approach celebrities? I am invited to a party that Corey Haim is supposed to attend, and I want to like talk with him, but not come off as all lame. Do you have any advice for me?
Los Angeles, CA.
Oh, have the Coreys have fallen. Fortunately, I think it was the OTHER Corey who did that shitpot of a fucking sequel Rock and Roll High School Forever, or I’d go with you and stab the motherfucker in his Little Corey.
Given the nature of this celebrity, I suggest you treat him with tenderness. “HEY COREY! YOUR CAREER IS SHIT, BUT HEY, YOU’RE STILL ‘LICENSED TO DRIVE”! HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAA”
“Hey Corey, your last movie was great. It wasn’t because it sucked that nobody saw it. It’s because all your fans are now vampires, and they can’t come into your movie theater unless you invite them in. HAHHAHAHAHA!”
“Hey Corey, look on the bright side. There’s always a possibility of Lucas 2!”
Now leave me the fuck alone.