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How many Coreys does it take to ruin an acting career? 5

Dec6

Dear Murray

Murray, what is the best way to approach celebrities? I am invited to a party that Corey Haim is supposed to attend, and I want to like talk with him, but not come off as all lame. Do you have any advice for me?
Alejandra
Los Angeles, CA.

Oh, have the Coreys have fallen. Fortunately, I think it was the OTHER Corey who did that shitpot of a fucking sequel Rock and Roll High School Forever, or I’d go with you and stab the motherfucker in his Little Corey.

Given the nature of this celebrity, I suggest you treat him with tenderness. “HEY COREY! YOUR CAREER IS SHIT, BUT HEY, YOU’RE STILL ‘LICENSED TO DRIVE”! HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAA”

“Hey Corey, your last movie was great. It wasn’t because it sucked that nobody saw it. It’s because all your fans are now vampires, and they can’t come into your movie theater unless you invite them in. HAHHAHAHAHA!”

“Hey Corey, look on the bright side. There’s always a possibility of Lucas 2!”

Now leave me the fuck alone.

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There are 5 comments for this post

  1. try me on a bagel says:

    OMG. You are like so freakin cool. Corey will most def like you!

  2. King Gonad says:

    Tell him you are so sorry that HAIM rhymes with LAME!

    Also, you can ask him how Satan’s dick tastes, since he obviously had to suck it for even that passing flicker of limelight.

  3. Who the hell would give a FUCK if Corey Haim shows up to a party? Big fuckin deal. Thats like going to a party and eagerly anticipating the arrival of a fuckin McDonald’s employee.

  4. None ya! says:

    Now which Cory was giving it up to Michael Jackson again? i forget :)

  5. King Gonad says:

    For the past 20 years those could be one & the same.

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