Dear Murray a tasty, tasty bitch beloved and feared by hordes of basement-dwelling illiterati and their fierce antagonists, the Grammar Nazis. He single-handedly turned the webcam whorefest of Myspace into a lively commerce of ideas, including whether or not the TUBGIRL photo will ever be topped as a postmodern expression of the inexpressible. According to web historians, he has inspired more photoshop projects and syphilis jokes than Britney Spears (who he has been repeatedly linked romantically to). He is also rumoured to be the father of Anna Nicole Smith's baby, a disciple of Cliff Yablonski, and the second gunman on the grassy knoll. Although he could not be reached for comment, he reportedly resides in or near the tent cities along the LA River Basin, third right after the walrus sunning station.
He has vehemently denied all charges that he is any any way responsible for that rash your wife claims "is from the heat".
His primary function is doling out advice; the inspiration sprang from an endless and eventually dull repetition of fucktards failed to heed his words.
A secondary result is a dysfunctional family "round table" of people who contribute innumerable one-liners and personal experiences, rarely related in any way to the actual question.
It is estimated that tens of thousands of readers have "LOL'd" approximately 5,395,645,694,167,467,105 times, with the toll expected to rise.
He is immune to kryptonite, chlamydia, and brainwashing.
Wikipedia has banned PENCILTITS's entry, debating the relevance of his tasty bitchiness.
This media election coverage is pissing me off. It’s bad enough that all the candidates are stealing the buzzword from my campaign for president. “Hey, lady, can you spare some CHANGE?” -Murray, 2003. Now, all anyone can talk about is CHANGE, CHANGE, CHANGE. What kind of change can some of […]
Dear Murray My boyfriend is obsessed with comic books and video games. Lately, I haven’t been getting any action at all. He stays up all hours of the night playing the X-box, and I go to bed early and alone. Do I have to smash the game into a million […]
Dear Murray So, My boyfriend whom i met online 2 years ago, and I just spent a wonderful long weekend together in Seattle. He is from California. I live in Washington. This is the third time we’ve met in 2 years…NOt alot, but we are just now getting to the […]
Dear Murray Here’s my dilemma: Currently my life is okay. I’m 24, earned a Bachelor’s degree, have a job which I don’t mind too much that pays well and live with my family while I’m paying off my student loans (under 10K). However, as much as I love my parents […]
Dear Murray Do guys prefer hair “down there” to be completely shaved or do they like a landing strip? Do men these days even like big 70’s bush anymore? By the way…are you circumsized? Inquiring minds wanna know. Agatha Kansas City, Ks. Well, obviously, you’re on the Kansas side of […]