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Pubic Topiaries are the Fashion of the Future!

Dear Murray

Do guys prefer hair “down there” to be completely shaved or do they like a landing strip? Do men these days even like big 70’s bush anymore? By the way…are you circumsized? Inquiring minds wanna know.
Kansas City, Ks.

Well, obviously, you’re on the Kansas side of the river, considering you gotta be ASKING this question. They trim that shit in MIZZOU!

Personally, I can’t think of any vaginal coifs that I’d go running from. No, wait. I just did. If you’ve cut that shit into a rat-tail vag mullet, keep it da fuck away from me! Gagged on one of those mothafuckas before! Never again!

Seriously, though, do whatever the fuck makes you feel good. Some women feel all dirty if they got a big fuckin’ topiary down there. If you’re dating a dude who refuses to go down there just ’cause there’s a little more hair than usual, then he oughtta consider being gay, ’cause he sure the fuck doesn’t like vagina ENOUGH. Shit.

Oh, and shit. Do you think it would even be possible for someone to harbor as much anger as me and not have been circumcized? Christ.

 Now leave me the fuck alone.

Categories: Limp Dicks

Dear Murray

Dear Murray a tasty, tasty bitch beloved and feared by hordes of basement-dwelling illiterati and their fierce antagonists, the Grammar Nazis. He single-handedly turned the webcam whorefest of Myspace into a lively commerce of ideas, including whether or not the TUBGIRL photo will ever be topped as a postmodern expression of the inexpressible. According to web historians, he has inspired more photoshop projects and syphilis jokes than Britney Spears (who he has been repeatedly linked romantically to). He is also rumoured to be the father of Anna Nicole Smith's baby, a disciple of Cliff Yablonski, and the second gunman on the grassy knoll. Although he could not be reached for comment, he reportedly resides in or near the tent cities along the LA River Basin, third right after the walrus sunning station.

He has vehemently denied all charges that he is any any way responsible for that rash your wife claims "is from the heat".

His primary function is doling out advice; the inspiration sprang from an endless and eventually dull repetition of fucktards failed to heed his words.

A secondary result is a dysfunctional family "round table" of people who contribute innumerable one-liners and personal experiences, rarely related in any way to the actual question.

It is estimated that tens of thousands of readers have "LOL'd" approximately 5,395,645,694,167,467,105 times, with the toll expected to rise.

He is immune to kryptonite, chlamydia, and brainwashing.

Wikipedia has banned PENCILTITS's entry, debating the relevance of his tasty bitchiness.