Dear Murray a tasty, tasty bitch beloved and feared by hordes of basement-dwelling illiterati and their fierce antagonists, the Grammar Nazis. He single-handedly turned the webcam whorefest of Myspace into a lively commerce of ideas, including whether or not the TUBGIRL photo will ever be topped as a postmodern expression of the inexpressible. According to web historians, he has inspired more photoshop projects and syphilis jokes than Britney Spears (who he has been repeatedly linked romantically to). He is also rumoured to be the father of Anna Nicole Smith's baby, a disciple of Cliff Yablonski, and the second gunman on the grassy knoll. Although he could not be reached for comment, he reportedly resides in or near the tent cities along the LA River Basin, third right after the walrus sunning station.
He has vehemently denied all charges that he is any any way responsible for that rash your wife claims "is from the heat".
His primary function is doling out advice; the inspiration sprang from an endless and eventually dull repetition of fucktards failed to heed his words.
A secondary result is a dysfunctional family "round table" of people who contribute innumerable one-liners and personal experiences, rarely related in any way to the actual question.
It is estimated that tens of thousands of readers have "LOL'd" approximately 5,395,645,694,167,467,105 times, with the toll expected to rise.
He is immune to kryptonite, chlamydia, and brainwashing.
Wikipedia has banned PENCILTITS's entry, debating the relevance of his tasty bitchiness.
Dear Murray what do you think about a recently divorced guy who’s 38 years old, has long bleached-blonde hair, wears big chains and just got his nipples and his tongue pierced? i have to work with this guy and i’m beginning to wonder if maybe he’s some sort of latent […]
Dear Murray So I’ve been invited to a “friend of a friend’s” house for Dinner. And although I’m very grateful (I’ve met these people 2-3 times), I’m a little apprehensive. They’re kind, eloquent, educated, and planning on having a houseful of 12-16 sort-of-strangers at their house for Dinner. Everyone’s brining […]
Dear Murray You’d look much sexier without the beard. Will you shave it? -Angela THERE YOU GO trying to change me again. You don’t get a beard like this without lotsa hard work. Look at those dudes in ZZ Top. YEARS of hard work, and it paid off. They are […]
Dear Murray: I have recently turned 40. (thanks for the comment pal) anyway I have started farting since my birthday!! Its weird we had soft non gassy foods at my celebration because my teeth starting falling out a couple of days before my b-day and my doc said nothing spicy…Do […]
Dear Murray I am a REALLY horny young man and masturbation alone doesn’t quench my thirst. I haven’t gotten laid in 3 months and I am going crazy. A friend told me that Craigslist is a great idea, so i posted this ad today: FREE SWEDISH MASSAGE TONIGHT ———————————————————————— Reply […]