Dear Murray a tasty, tasty bitch beloved and feared by hordes of basement-dwelling illiterati and their fierce antagonists, the Grammar Nazis. He single-handedly turned the webcam whorefest of Myspace into a lively commerce of ideas, including whether or not the TUBGIRL photo will ever be topped as a postmodern expression of the inexpressible. According to web historians, he has inspired more photoshop projects and syphilis jokes than Britney Spears (who he has been repeatedly linked romantically to). He is also rumoured to be the father of Anna Nicole Smith's baby, a disciple of Cliff Yablonski, and the second gunman on the grassy knoll. Although he could not be reached for comment, he reportedly resides in or near the tent cities along the LA River Basin, third right after the walrus sunning station.
He has vehemently denied all charges that he is any any way responsible for that rash your wife claims "is from the heat".
His primary function is doling out advice; the inspiration sprang from an endless and eventually dull repetition of fucktards failed to heed his words.
A secondary result is a dysfunctional family "round table" of people who contribute innumerable one-liners and personal experiences, rarely related in any way to the actual question.
It is estimated that tens of thousands of readers have "LOL'd" approximately 5,395,645,694,167,467,105 times, with the toll expected to rise.
He is immune to kryptonite, chlamydia, and brainwashing.
Wikipedia has banned PENCILTITS's entry, debating the relevance of his tasty bitchiness.
Dear Murray I want to get out of this small town, and move to a big city. NYC, Chicago, and LA all look good, but I can’t decide. Which do you prefer? -Born in a Small Town This is a very simple question. What’s your personality type? Murray did a […]
Dear Murray I am a mother of three, recently divorced. I like your frankness in dealing with people. I find myself very drawn and attracted to you. I would like to give you my number so that we can talk. What do you think? — angela As you can tell […]
Dear Murray I want to start taking yoga. Do you know of any good yoga studios? -Twisted in Tinseltown Lemme tell ya about people who take yoga. I know this guy, we’ll call him SAL VENICE from CLIFFSIDE PARK, NEW JERSEY. Sal had this roommate named Barry who was really […]
This guy at work has been saying really creepy things to me and I don’t know how to deal with him. Any advice? -kris Lady, you ain’t never heard creepy. Once, when I was in about sixth grade, me and my friends were walking to school. We always stopped and […]
Dear Murray: I don’t mean like dear heart or honey dear – sonny-boy Jim, I mean, you know, dear Murray. Got that? What’s wrong with just fucking being yourself? The proliferation of – I hate to say this, but mostly chicks who put up photo’s for their myspace – that’s […]