I want to start taking yoga. Do you know of any good yoga studios?
-Twisted in Tinseltown
Lemme tell ya about people who take yoga. I know this guy, we’ll call him SAL VENICE from CLIFFSIDE PARK, NEW JERSEY. Sal had this roommate named Barry who was really involved in Yoga. Sal comes home one day, and Barry’s sitting in the living room in a bath robe and a huge grin on his face. He says “I’ve got a surprise for ya! Are you ready? Sit right here.” Barry runs into the bathroom and comes back out with a jar of vaseline. “ARE YOU READY?” he says. He opens the jar of vaseline, hikes one leg up on a chair, scoops some vaseline with one finger, and begins jamming that finger in his ass. pllllpp! plllllpp! “Do you like that?” pllpp! “Does this BOTHER YOU?” plllp! plllp! “What are you gonna do now, you gonna go MEDITATE?” pllpp! pllpp! “YOU KNOW WHAT? NONE OF THIS IS REAL!” pllpp!
Barry has reached a level of transcendence many of us will never achieve. I’ll find out where he takes yoga and get back to you.
Now leave me the fuck alone.