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Up the creek without a rubber

Dear Murray

My boyfriend and I have been having this argument. He’s always forgetting to bring condoms, and he tells me that I’m responsible for birth control. I think he should share in the responsibility. Can you help us out?

You do realize that this argument is gonna be about as fucking fruitless as the lowering of the toilet seat argument, right? Sure, the fucker should ante up for some condoms and all if he wants to taste the sweetness, but really. You should have it no fucking matter what! Think about it. You’re gonna be too fuckin busy arguing that you’re not gonna notice when some serious shit goes down. “YOU KNOW WHAT you motherfucker! I’m sick of you not buying condoms! I’ll show you! I’ll-i’ll-i’ll just fuckin get pregnant! watch me!” By all means. You’re the one that has to carry that shit in your belly.

Then you can argue with the baby over WHOSE RESPONSIBILITY it is to STOP FUCKING WHINING and LEAVE MURRAY the fuck alone.

Categories: Links

Dear Murray

Dear Murray a tasty, tasty bitch beloved and feared by hordes of basement-dwelling illiterati and their fierce antagonists, the Grammar Nazis. He single-handedly turned the webcam whorefest of Myspace into a lively commerce of ideas, including whether or not the TUBGIRL photo will ever be topped as a postmodern expression of the inexpressible. According to web historians, he has inspired more photoshop projects and syphilis jokes than Britney Spears (who he has been repeatedly linked romantically to). He is also rumoured to be the father of Anna Nicole Smith's baby, a disciple of Cliff Yablonski, and the second gunman on the grassy knoll. Although he could not be reached for comment, he reportedly resides in or near the tent cities along the LA River Basin, third right after the walrus sunning station.

He has vehemently denied all charges that he is any any way responsible for that rash your wife claims "is from the heat".

His primary function is doling out advice; the inspiration sprang from an endless and eventually dull repetition of fucktards failed to heed his words.

A secondary result is a dysfunctional family "round table" of people who contribute innumerable one-liners and personal experiences, rarely related in any way to the actual question.

It is estimated that tens of thousands of readers have "LOL'd" approximately 5,395,645,694,167,467,105 times, with the toll expected to rise.

He is immune to kryptonite, chlamydia, and brainwashing.

Wikipedia has banned PENCILTITS's entry, debating the relevance of his tasty bitchiness.