Dear Murray
Do you think the president is gay?
I read the other day that Hitler was supposedly gay, too.
Please clarify.
-confused in D.C.
I fuckin wish he was gay. More funding for the arts, our nation’s colors would change to match the seasons, and Secretary of Defense: Liza Minnelli! However, it could be true if you consider the Conservative viewpoint. They sure go on and on an awful lot, so let me paraphrase: “OH DEAR GOD BRING ME WHAT’S LEFT OF RONALD REAGAN SO I CAN LICK HIS ASS.” That said, Mr. President Dubya is too fucking stupid to be gay. Interesting that you bring up Hitler, though. You ever look at the comparisons between Hitler’s agenda and Big Baby Bush? Both Hitler and Big Bush spoke of a NEW WORLD ORDER. The first thing they both did when they took office was raise a big stink about the flag. Lastly, I have it on authority that they both did, in fact, lick Ron Reagan’s ass. So, Mr. President Dubya is nothing but a puppet for his old man. Gay? Hell, he couldn’t pick out a color-coordinated outfit to save his life. He can, however, do a good job picking his nose.
Now leave me the fuck alone.
Categories: Dubya Limp Dicks
Dear Murray
Dear Murray a tasty, tasty bitch beloved and feared by hordes of basement-dwelling illiterati and their fierce antagonists, the Grammar Nazis. He single-handedly turned the webcam whorefest of Myspace into a lively commerce of ideas, including whether or not the TUBGIRL photo will ever be topped as a postmodern expression of the inexpressible. According to web historians, he has inspired more photoshop projects and syphilis jokes than Britney Spears (who he has been repeatedly linked romantically to). He is also rumoured to be the father of Anna Nicole Smith's baby, a disciple of Cliff Yablonski, and the second gunman on the grassy knoll. Although he could not be reached for comment, he reportedly resides in or near the tent cities along the LA River Basin, third right after the walrus sunning station.
He has vehemently denied all charges that he is any any way responsible for that rash your wife claims "is from the heat".
His primary function is doling out advice; the inspiration sprang from an endless and eventually dull repetition of fucktards failed to heed his words.
A secondary result is a dysfunctional family "round table" of people who contribute innumerable one-liners and personal experiences, rarely related in any way to the actual question.
It is estimated that tens of thousands of readers have "LOL'd" approximately 5,395,645,694,167,467,105 times, with the toll expected to rise.
He is immune to kryptonite, chlamydia, and brainwashing.
Wikipedia has banned PENCILTITS's entry, debating the relevance of his tasty bitchiness.