Murray’s 100% Guaranteed plan for LOSING WEIGHT!

Dear Murray I’m trying to lose weight, and I need a good weight loss method. Any suggestions? -b Goddamn. You know you’re in LA when you try to give a homeless man a sammich and he asks you “how many carbs are in that?” My grandmother weighed 850 lbs. She lied on the couch all day and ate. So do the opposite of that, ok? It’s not so fucking hard, …continue…

Too old to rock (I need my sleep)

Dear Murray I’m in a band, and lately I haven’t had any time for anything. I never have enough time to sleep. I’ve been thinking of quitting the band, and I need a diplomatic way to let them know. Carl The truth there, buddy, is your band could really care less. You’re only in the band because you have a van and they need someone to haul their shit around. …continue…