Dear Murray a tasty, tasty bitch beloved and feared by hordes of basement-dwelling illiterati and their fierce antagonists, the Grammar Nazis. He single-handedly turned the webcam whorefest of Myspace into a lively commerce of ideas, including whether or not the TUBGIRL photo will ever be topped as a postmodern expression of the inexpressible. According to web historians, he has inspired more photoshop projects and syphilis jokes than Britney Spears (who he has been repeatedly linked romantically to). He is also rumoured to be the father of Anna Nicole Smith's baby, a disciple of Cliff Yablonski, and the second gunman on the grassy knoll. Although he could not be reached for comment, he reportedly resides in or near the tent cities along the LA River Basin, third right after the walrus sunning station.
He has vehemently denied all charges that he is any any way responsible for that rash your wife claims "is from the heat".
His primary function is doling out advice; the inspiration sprang from an endless and eventually dull repetition of fucktards failed to heed his words.
A secondary result is a dysfunctional family "round table" of people who contribute innumerable one-liners and personal experiences, rarely related in any way to the actual question.
It is estimated that tens of thousands of readers have "LOL'd" approximately 5,395,645,694,167,467,105 times, with the toll expected to rise.
He is immune to kryptonite, chlamydia, and brainwashing.
Wikipedia has banned PENCILTITS's entry, debating the relevance of his tasty bitchiness.
Dear Murray My boyfriend and I have been having this argument. He’s always forgetting to bring condoms, and he tells me that I’m responsible for birth control. I think he should share in the responsibility. Can you help us out? -Maggie You do realize that this argument is gonna be […]
Dear Murray I set the case of Corona on the counter, the liquor store cashier say, “Hey, sweetie. Your looking beautiful today. Smile. That’s better. So much prettier when you smile. Anything else, honey?” He does this everytime. I’m irritated, but polite. Anything else would be wasted breath. Then, a […]
Dear Murray i’ve been dating this guy for about a year now, and a friend recently told me that he’s been cheating on me. everything has been great so far, but i know this friend wouldn’t lie to me. how can i confront him about this? -brokenhearted in burbank Jesus […]
Dear Murray Do you think there is an inverse relationship between self-esteem and motivation? Are people who are happy with themselves less driven to improve, and therefore less likely to accomplish great things, or does a healthy mental attitude equip one better for success? -Fighting off contentment Comfort is a […]
Dear Murray: I met this really nice deaf guy, and I want to go out with him, but my friends are all against it. My parents, too. They all say it’s too much trouble, and I should find a nice, normal guy. What should I do? -Hear No Evil. Hey, […]