i’ve been dating this guy for about a year now, and a friend recently told me that he’s been cheating on me. everything has been great so far, but i know this friend wouldn’t lie to me. how can i confront him about this?
-brokenhearted in burbank
Jesus creeping Christ, could you be any more annoying? You’d best be prepared for some serious bullshit, ’cause that’s what you’re about to encounter. I once caught this ex cheating, and when she finally confessed, she said “it only made me realize that I wanted you more.” MY STUPID ASS fell for it, and you know what? The next time made her want me even more. The next time still more. Christ, by the time I dumped that woman, her entire days must have been entirely dedicated to banging other dudes and wanting me.
Now I’m not gonna say you can’t forgive him, but if yo’ stupid ass just lets this slide, you’re issuing a license for him to do it again and again and again.
So if that turns ya on, then shut up and leave me the fuck alone.
Categories: Limp Dicks
Dear Murray a tasty, tasty bitch beloved and feared by hordes of basement-dwelling illiterati and their fierce antagonists, the Grammar Nazis. He single-handedly turned the webcam whorefest of Myspace into a lively commerce of ideas, including whether or not the TUBGIRL photo will ever be topped as a postmodern expression of the inexpressible. According to web historians, he has inspired more photoshop projects and syphilis jokes than Britney Spears (who he has been repeatedly linked romantically to). He is also rumoured to be the father of Anna Nicole Smith's baby, a disciple of Cliff Yablonski, and the second gunman on the grassy knoll. Although he could not be reached for comment, he reportedly resides in or near the tent cities along the LA River Basin, third right after the walrus sunning station.
He has vehemently denied all charges that he is any any way responsible for that rash your wife claims "is from the heat".
His primary function is doling out advice; the inspiration sprang from an endless and eventually dull repetition of fucktards failed to heed his words.
A secondary result is a dysfunctional family "round table" of people who contribute innumerable one-liners and personal experiences, rarely related in any way to the actual question.
It is estimated that tens of thousands of readers have "LOL'd" approximately 5,395,645,694,167,467,105 times, with the toll expected to rise.
He is immune to kryptonite, chlamydia, and brainwashing.
Wikipedia has banned PENCILTITS's entry, debating the relevance of his tasty bitchiness.