Up the creek without a rubber

Dear Murray My boyfriend and I have been having this argument. He’s always forgetting to bring condoms, and he tells me that I’m responsible for birth control. I think he should share in the responsibility. Can you help us out? -Maggie You do realize that this argument is gonna be about as fucking fruitless as the lowering of the toilet seat argument, right? Sure, the fucker should ante up for …continue…

Stupid Bullshit that dudes say and the stupid bitches who fall for it

Dear Murray I set the case of Corona on the counter, the liquor store cashier say, “Hey, sweetie. Your looking beautiful today. Smile. That’s better. So much prettier when you smile. Anything else, honey?” He does this everytime. I’m irritated, but polite. Anything else would be wasted breath. Then, a painter/construction/labor working guy getting off work comes strolling in, and very loudly says, “Damn, you get some sexy women comin’ …continue…

His cheatin’ heart (is only a sign of how much he cares)

Dear Murray i’ve been dating this guy for about a year now, and a friend recently told me that he’s been cheating on me. everything has been great so far, but i know this friend wouldn’t lie to me. how can i confront him about this? -brokenhearted in burbank Jesus creeping Christ, could you be any more annoying? You’d best be prepared for some serious bullshit, ’cause that’s what you’re …continue…

Esteem and motivation are inversely proportionate

Dear Murray Do you think there is an inverse relationship between self-esteem and motivation? Are people who are happy with themselves less driven to improve, and therefore less likely to accomplish great things, or does a healthy mental attitude equip one better for success? -Fighting off contentment Comfort is a fucking poison. There’s something to be said for the struggle. I hate to quote Hollywood here, but fuck. You have …continue…