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Dear Murray how come women are such bitches? j christ, what you know about women you could squeeze snugly into an ant’s twat (and still have room for a reacharound). why not just cut to the chase and start referring to women as “them things you stick yer pee-pee in”? […]

Hope through inflatables

Dearest Murray, What is really, truly the most humane way to let someone know you aren’t interested in him? After say a few dates and chit chat? Some folks would say it’s best to tell the truth to the dudes face..but I dunno about that. I want to be nice, […]

Lick my Circumorbital Hematoma

Dear Murray I’ve been hanging out with this guy that I really like. We’ve been “dating” for a few months now, but have never had sex. Our physical encounters are not what most would consider the norm. *I end up with broken cartlidge, circumorbital hemmatomas,and bites that dont heal for […]