Dear Murray
Just recently, I have broken up with a long-term boyfriend due to issues we could not work out. However, we became very close with another couple while dating. Since the break up, the couple has been distant and awkward around me, although I never speak about the ex or the breakup. I told them I do not want them in the middle, so I never bring up the subject b’c I respect that they are still friends with him. They had a party, however, I did not attend because the ex was going to be there, and didn’t want to feel uncomfortable or cause drama. So instead of them having to pick, I just bowed out. Since this incident, the guy has been very upset with me. I have never cared much for him, however, he’s very controlling with his girlfriend and fear he will make her break our friendship. What do you suggest I do?
-torn in tinseltown
TELL ME IF I’m reading between the lines here correctly, but… “very close” means partner-swapping, don’t it? Now they cutting you off, ’cause you’re de-partnered and then someone’s gonna get jealous? Um. Are you all like 17 or something? Christ. I’ve slept upstairs at the home of my ex-wife and her new husband, and I really couldn’t give a shit what they were doing. Better him than me, ya know?
So then, if you pick weak friends who do whatever their boyfriend tells them to, then you’re pretty much fucked from the start. Ya know what Murray would tell her? To borrow a line from my favorite comic: Now get the fuck out! Go clean your huz-bins asshole or something!!
Maybe you’re just jealous that you can’t do the same any longer.
Now leave me the fuck alone.
Categories: Links
Dear Murray
Dear Murray a tasty, tasty bitch beloved and feared by hordes of basement-dwelling illiterati and their fierce antagonists, the Grammar Nazis. He single-handedly turned the webcam whorefest of Myspace into a lively commerce of ideas, including whether or not the TUBGIRL photo will ever be topped as a postmodern expression of the inexpressible. According to web historians, he has inspired more photoshop projects and syphilis jokes than Britney Spears (who he has been repeatedly linked romantically to). He is also rumoured to be the father of Anna Nicole Smith's baby, a disciple of Cliff Yablonski, and the second gunman on the grassy knoll. Although he could not be reached for comment, he reportedly resides in or near the tent cities along the LA River Basin, third right after the walrus sunning station.
He has vehemently denied all charges that he is any any way responsible for that rash your wife claims "is from the heat".
His primary function is doling out advice; the inspiration sprang from an endless and eventually dull repetition of fucktards failed to heed his words.
A secondary result is a dysfunctional family "round table" of people who contribute innumerable one-liners and personal experiences, rarely related in any way to the actual question.
It is estimated that tens of thousands of readers have "LOL'd" approximately 5,395,645,694,167,467,105 times, with the toll expected to rise.
He is immune to kryptonite, chlamydia, and brainwashing.
Wikipedia has banned PENCILTITS's entry, debating the relevance of his tasty bitchiness.