Two words: DOG BALLS 5
Dear Murray
I have a crush on this British guy at work, and he seems a little more sophisticated than the guys I usually date. What can I do to get his attention?
Amy
You’re in luck. Murray has extensive experience dealing with the British. I once punched this British guy in the face at a party, but I didn’t get into trouble because first I shouted “NO TAXATION WITHOUT REPRESENTATION”. If you look at the cultural differences between the United States and Britain, you can learn alot. For example, look at our slang for the phrase “wow, that’s really something great.” In the U.S., we might say something like “Man, that shit is DOPE”, whereas over there, they would say “That’s the dog’s BOLLOCKS!” What does this teach us? Americans are preoccupied with drugs and poo, and the British with dog balls.
If you really want to impress this guy, grow yourself a set of dog balls. Now leave me the fuck alone.
Make sure you grow them dogballs on your chin…those Limey bastards really like that shit.
First of all, he’s not more sophisticated, he just has a stupid sounding accent that you’re not used to. And if you really want to get his attention, just make sure you grow out your moustache nice and full and don’t shave your back. He’ll notice you in no time.
Bollocks is such a stupid word. Sounds too much like “buttocks”, which fucking rocks. It’s a shame that England had to make a word that rides coattails for popular slang.
british guys can’t cook. what’s the point?
Well, no they can’t cook, but they’ll be very polite when they explain why they can’t, (think Canadian polite, but instead of just ending with an “eh” they’ll end with an “eh wot”, which is less gay).