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Stalking you, stalking me

Creepin’ christ, you fucking kooks. Dearmurray.com is a privately-owned blog. If I had corporate backing, do you think my site would look so shitty and be powered by WordPress with a fucking out of the box premade template? Oh, and wordpress is a free install with a godaddy hosting account, dipshits. No domain mapping whatever bullshit necessary. Hell, I managed to get that far in setting this shit up before I had to pay some dude a 12 pack to set my shit up right.

Experience the wonders of the intranets

I’m in cahoots with the mob by now, I’m sure. Next thing you know, I’ll be funneling money over seas or some shit. Or connected to big oil, or some shit.

DearMurray.com is not a new site. It has been running for over two fucking years now. Interrupted only for a short time when someone forgot to pay the bill. My myspace page has been running for almost four years now. What fucking business runs on myspace two years before launching a web site? That’s four fucking years without a dime of profit (hint: pay me, bitches). Not that I won’t sell out, given the opportunity. (Contact me about getting your corporate logo right on my middle finger.)

There’s a whole bunch of motherfuckers with Admin access to this fucking site, and none of them are Jews. Maybe if I knew some Jews, I’d be turning a profit on this shit by now, eh?

Now leave me the fuck alone.

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Dear Murray

Dear Murray a tasty, tasty bitch beloved and feared by hordes of basement-dwelling illiterati and their fierce antagonists, the Grammar Nazis. He single-handedly turned the webcam whorefest of Myspace into a lively commerce of ideas, including whether or not the TUBGIRL photo will ever be topped as a postmodern expression of the inexpressible. According to web historians, he has inspired more photoshop projects and syphilis jokes than Britney Spears (who he has been repeatedly linked romantically to). He is also rumoured to be the father of Anna Nicole Smith's baby, a disciple of Cliff Yablonski, and the second gunman on the grassy knoll. Although he could not be reached for comment, he reportedly resides in or near the tent cities along the LA River Basin, third right after the walrus sunning station.

He has vehemently denied all charges that he is any any way responsible for that rash your wife claims "is from the heat".

His primary function is doling out advice; the inspiration sprang from an endless and eventually dull repetition of fucktards failed to heed his words.

A secondary result is a dysfunctional family "round table" of people who contribute innumerable one-liners and personal experiences, rarely related in any way to the actual question.

It is estimated that tens of thousands of readers have "LOL'd" approximately 5,395,645,694,167,467,105 times, with the toll expected to rise.

He is immune to kryptonite, chlamydia, and brainwashing.

Wikipedia has banned PENCILTITS's entry, debating the relevance of his tasty bitchiness.