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Kickin it on Magnolia in the Burbank Hoods

Dear Murray

i am a germany born eastern european female in my mid 20s, medium blonde with green blue eyes.I watch all those cool videos on MTV with 50 cent and now I want to start wearing doorags, so I can fit in. Do you think the bruthaz will notice if that am not really black? Please help!
-c-dawg from da BH hood

You think the world hasn’t noticed that Michael Jackson isn’t black? This is a tough question for me, since I know you’ve built your entire vernacular from years of watching Yo! MTV Raps! but I’m up for the challenge. As I said before, Murray grew up in the hood. As much of a hood as there could be in the smaller town I was from. If you wanna impress black people, I learned a little secret. Be yourself. Just because you watched Roots don’t mean that you can relate to “mah peeps”. They’re not gonna care about how you “kicked it on Magnolia in the Burbank hoods back in the day.” So give it up. If you need a look to fit in somewhere, lemme suggest you model yourself after these guys. You’ll fit right in.

Now leave me the fuck alone.

Categories: Dreams and Delusions Stupid White People

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Dear Murray

Dear Murray a tasty, tasty bitch beloved and feared by hordes of basement-dwelling illiterati and their fierce antagonists, the Grammar Nazis. He single-handedly turned the webcam whorefest of Myspace into a lively commerce of ideas, including whether or not the TUBGIRL photo will ever be topped as a postmodern expression of the inexpressible. According to web historians, he has inspired more photoshop projects and syphilis jokes than Britney Spears (who he has been repeatedly linked romantically to). He is also rumoured to be the father of Anna Nicole Smith's baby, a disciple of Cliff Yablonski, and the second gunman on the grassy knoll. Although he could not be reached for comment, he reportedly resides in or near the tent cities along the LA River Basin, third right after the walrus sunning station.

He has vehemently denied all charges that he is any any way responsible for that rash your wife claims "is from the heat".

His primary function is doling out advice; the inspiration sprang from an endless and eventually dull repetition of fucktards failed to heed his words.

A secondary result is a dysfunctional family "round table" of people who contribute innumerable one-liners and personal experiences, rarely related in any way to the actual question.

It is estimated that tens of thousands of readers have "LOL'd" approximately 5,395,645,694,167,467,105 times, with the toll expected to rise.

He is immune to kryptonite, chlamydia, and brainwashing.

Wikipedia has banned PENCILTITS's entry, debating the relevance of his tasty bitchiness.