How can we complain about the economy when some asshole still has the time and money to make crap like this in their garage?

Yes, that’s a real genuine homemade “Ronald McDonald” clown shoe car, captured on the streets of Portland, Oregon.

Parents, don’t let your kids near that shit. It’s a trap!

This shit is a real clown pussy magnet.

Fuckin’ hippies.

Being a girl that like girls is really fucking hard because girls really can suck. Well, I got dumped about five months ago but we have remained friends. I haven’t talked to her in about a month. Now, I really miss her but she is pressing for me to “get over her”. So yeah, I really want to be mean to her cause she really has no idea what I have been going through. Well, basically my question is this; How the fuck do you get over someone when they insist you be there for them and be there friend even when it kills you to be around them. Should I just say fuck it, I mean if she can’t stop to think about what I need then there is no point, right?! She has changed so much and I don’t even want to be with the person that she has become. I just miss how wonderful I felt when we were together. Why do I need someone else to make me feel good? I never used to. How do I get back to that point?

What timing. I’ve watched this about 26 times already today: www.rathergood.com/hedgehogs/

Sheeit. It’s interesting seeing this shit coming from a lesbian ’cause it’s the same goddamned bullshit ALL of us gotta deal with. No matter what slot we’re putting in what hole, it looks like we’re all full of the same exact motherfucking bullshit.

People are motherfucking selfish. COME HERE NO GO AWAY. I never was any good playing with yo yos when I was a kid and I sure the fuck haven’t learned anything about them now.

How do you get over them? YOU OPEN YOUR DAMNED MOUTH and tell them to just fucking leave you the fuck alone (getting any ideas why this is my favorite phrase yet?), otherwise they’ll lure your ass back into their little web over and over and over and over and… too late. Your self-respect is out the window around the third OVER. That’s why yo ass just can’t say no. You’ve got nothing left until you just fucking say FUCK YOU!

Shit. That’s cool and all if someone wants to end a thing. No big fucking deal. Just keep your motherfuckin word. If it’s over, it’s fuckin over. You got all new honeypots to dip into. ’cause lemme tell ya, right now yo’ ass might be all OH MY GOD I LOVED HER SOOOOO MUCH AND I WILL NEVER EVER RECOVER FROM THIS SHIT, then one fuckin day you wake up and go WOW. That really was a lame bitch that I let get my ass all knotted up, wasn’t it?

Today’s goddess is tomorrow’s toofless hag. Maybe she always was a hag, but it’s all in perspective, any goddamned way.

Maybe I just have a soft spot for toofless hags.

Now leave me the fuck alone.

The man who claims to have done all sorts of things with Senator Barack Obama in the back of a limo in 1999 in Chicago, after meeting him in, of course, an “upscale lounge”, and taking him back to his hotel (the $50 a night Comfort Inn and Suites), has now filed a “civil rights” case against Barack Obama, David Axelrod, and the DNC, based on, what he calls “attempts to slander and intimidate” him.

Based on what, you ask?

Let’s hear it from Larry as stated on caosblog.com:

larrysinclair0926 Says:
February 10th, 2008 at 3:20 am

I have not ignored any request for facts supporting my claims about obama. I have refused to turn over information to the internet warriors who somehow feel I owe them something. In response to the attempt to call me a liar about the smears on the official DNC site I provide you the following link http://www.democrats.org/page/community/tag/Larry+Sinclair
I also would like to say that comingawakening is posting videos making claims that he know what day I met Obama, and what day the navy graduation took place only all of his claimed FACTS were totally made up by him and I had to correct him.

So, uh, just to get this straight, random dude who posted a blog and message board post (that anyone can sign up for) is David Axelrod in disguise? So, who am I, Larry? Michelle Obama?

It gets better, though. As it turns out, the address listed on the court filings is for an “elderly assisted care” facility in Duluth, MN.

A section 236 HUD housing complex for the elderly and handicapped.

See p. 12 of the HUD report for Minnesota housing:

http://www.hud.gov/offices/hsg/mfh/hto/state/mn.pdf

Gateway Tower
Units: 154
Occupancy Eligibility: Elderly and Handicapped

Larry’s own words:

What is Section 236?

Section 236 Program

Description:

HUD subsidizes the interest payments on mortgages for rental or cooperative housing owned by private nonprofit or limited-profit landlords and rented to low-income tenants.

Statute:

Section 236 of the National Housing Act, 12 U.S.C.A. § 1715z-1

Sorry, Larry. You’ll have to excuse us if we don’t find your claims credible. You claim to have been a high-rolling drug dealer, raking in tons of cash, and the only thing that has been proven is that you live in welfare housing.

In response to the question: You said you had “bank statements bigger than most of us make in our lifetimes,” Larry said:

So, then, it’s your classic case of millionaire drug-dealer-riches-to-rags story. Didn’t Dickens write that?

This doesn’t help your claim that you’re “not after money” in the least bit, particularly considering that you jumped all over WhiteHouse.com’s $100,000 offer to give you a lie detector test.

Larry isn’t happy that this information is now public, and as a result, he’s accusing me of calling him and placing death threats. As well as accusing me of being every single YouTube user who doesn’t believe him (which is most of them).

I have not called your ass, and I will not call your ass! No matter how much you beg! I’m perfectly satisfied with making fun of your ass online. No need to listen to your gibberish on the phone.

The latest, and most hilarious claim to date, is that Sinclair’s statements have been “proven” through the use of what they’re calling “Reverse Speech Analysis.” That’s right, folks! BACKMASKING! The very same technology that was used to play rock albums backwards to reveal their hidden Satanic agendas! Remember when Electric Light Orchestra was exposed for recruiting legions of youths into the army of Satan? Same thing, folks. The government is mind controlling us by subliminal backwards messages in their speeches!

I’ve gotta give it to you guys. Every time I think you’ve hit the absolute KOOK ceiling, you raise the bar!

Larry is threatening to sue me. He’s pissed at me for saying he’s on welfare. Mr. Sinclair, you are going around telling everyone that you are on DISABILITY. WHAT in the bloody hell do you think disability is? A WELFARE program!

Larry is now blabbering on that I have been trying to sell this story to tabloids. Larry, the tabloids aren’t any more interested in the “Larry Sinclair is on welfare” story, any more than they are interested in your other stories. So, just for good measure, I have offered to donate any funds received from this story to CHARITY. I will even let Larry pick the charity (so long as it matches up to a real charity).

Larry refused to accept my challenge to him to donate 100% of all funds paid to him by whitehouse.com to charity in the following comments that you can find reading through here:

So, Larry. It’s time for a confession. You ARE in it for the money!

More disinformation, folks: Larry’s army has been all excited about someone in the mainstream media “finally” picking this story up: The Cleveland Leader. HOORAY. The “oppression” is over! Or, is it?

According to Wikipedia, “The Cleveland Leader” merged with the Cleveland Plain Dealer in 1917. The Cleveland Leader was once a mighty paper, in the 1800s. But there is no “Cleveland Leader” listed in this list of Ohio newspapers.

The WHOIS for ClevelandLeader.com reveals that it was only registered a year and a half ago, and the registration is private:

Registered through: GoDaddy.com, Inc. (www.godaddy.com)
Domain Name: CLEVELANDLEADER.COM
Created on: 17-Jun-06
Expires on: 17-Jun-08
Last Updated on: 05-Jul-07

Administrative Contact:
Private, Registration CLEVELANDLEADER.COM@domainsbyproxy.com

Not to mention, the site appears to have but two reporters: “Julie” and “Eugmc”. Sorry kids, but it looks like the MSM conspiracy continues! And the folks blowing that site up for reporting this without proof, settle your asses down! It’s not a real paper. It’s JUST A BLOG.

Seriously, people, each new twist and turn just further makes it look more and more like a giant internet hoax. Of course the media won’t report it, because they’d be target #1 of such a hoax..

It’ s a simple enough story, but watch the video.

What’s the fucking deal?!

Wonders will never cease, and Y KANT TORI READ? Why can’t anyone read, for that fucking matter?

What I wanna know is why people keep asking me if I’m BILL MURRAY? My first name is Murray, and his last name is Murray, so we MUST be fuckin’ related, RIGHT?

I’m also Madelaine Murray O’Hare, F. Murray Abraham, Senator Ed Murray, Chad Michael Murray, and Murray the motherfucking pedophile clown. I also built all the Murray lawnmowers and all the Murray bikes with my BARE FUCKING HANDS! A MURRAY IS A MURRAY IS A MURRAY IS A MURRAY.

SERIOUSLY, PEOPLE:

Now leave me the fuck Alone.

Who are you aside from a crusty old bearded smoker with a penchant for flipping the double bird? You magnifacent bastard! Love the profile. Great shit

Doug

Murray is gay in San Francisco, black in South Africa… an anarchist in Spain… a Jew in Germany… an artist without a gallery or portfolio. Fuck. That’s Subcommandante Marcos, not Murray. Murray is a white boy who grew up in the ghetto with parents who “aren’t racist, we just don’t believe in MIXIN’.” Murray is tough on the outside, but all soft on the inside. Murray is not in the business of getting kittens out of trees. If you don’t let them find their own way down, they won’t fuckin know what to do next time, either. Murray won’t call you “around 9:00″. Murray will tell you he’ll call you at 9:17 and he’ll fucking do it.

Tell your friends. Now leave me the fuck alone.

I have a problem I hope you can help me with. (hehe) I have epilepsy and.. My assfuck doctors keep putting me on medication after medication. It’s fucking with me, physically and emotionally. All these different meds cause shitty side effects. What should I say or do tell them to kiss my ass? I’m not above calling nasty names too!
Thanks for your expert advice, Michelle

I once thought I had epilepsy. Turned out, though, that I was just looking at too many Myspace profiles where everygoddamnedthing <3 WaS *TyPeD* LiKe ThIs <3

Look, quit the bitchin’ and take charge! What is the perfect compliment to epilepsy? It’s goddamned well about time you flavored that with a little TOURETTE’S! Let’s face it, if there’s one debilitating disease out there we’d all love to be diagnosed with, it’s FUCKINGPISSFUCKHEAD TOURETTE’S! Hell, I’ve been pickling my brain for a good 60 years now with Snacky Cakes trying to score myself a positive diagnosis.

Imagine the looks on their faces if you came at ‘em flailing AND cussing! Think Linda Blair in the Exorcist! Double up on the pea soup, just in time for Halloween!

Hell, at this point, I’ll bet the only thing wrong with you is the fact that you’re more jacked up on prescription drugs than Rush Limbaugh on a month-long Mexican hillbilly heroin binge!

Grab them motherfuckers by the balls and tell ‘em LUCIPHER COMMANDS YOU TO EAT THEIR BALLS, and they’ll get a hell of a lot more accurate with their prescription pad, I GUARANTEE IT.

Now leave me the piss hell whore sucking cockhead fuck alone!

There’ll also be something else … a foreskin !

It begs the question : Do we get him the ‘snip’ and have him circumcised, or leave it as nature intended ?

Me – I’m somewhat torn on the issue. Anatomically, I’m your proverbial ‘helmet’. And love it. However that only came about after an infection at three years old meant medical intervention was needed, otherwise I imagine I’d still have a foreskin. I have a few faint memories of hospital, but all in all I came through un-traumatised.

By the same token, I kind of agree with the philosophy that cutting of a boys foreskin to prevent infection is a bit like cutting of your big toe to avoid stubbing it ! Is it really that necessary ?

I’ve heard every opinion from family and friends already. I figure, may as well hear yours too. It’ll probably make more sense.

Regards – Captain Kickass

This is my covenant, which ye shall keep, between me and you and thy seed after thee; “Every man child among you shall be circumcized.”–Genesis 17:10

When l’il Murray, Jr. was about two, we were in the tub, and he was examining his penis. He got REAL interested in the difference between his little willy and mine. He sat there, squeezing it, making it pop out and retract. “You’ve gotta wash behind there.” He didn’t want any part of it. So, he points at mine and starts yelling “BROKE IT! GRAMMA BROKE IT! GRAMMA CUT IIIIT! HE CUT IT!” He was only two, so HE was his only personal pronoun. He may have just been onto something, with my mama being the symbolic Biblical HE. Regardless, he was right. GRAMMA BROKE MY DICK!

Why, Gramma, WHY? Forgive me for goin’ all Hitler, but I blame the JEWS. They invented this shit! Thousands of years ago, some old Jews said SNIP EM, now I’ve gotta live with no turtleneck for my blacksnake? Fuck the Jews! I want my foreskin back! Zieg heil!

There’s not much of a reason to do circumcisions anymore, unless you’re strictly adhering to the word of the Bible. Speaking of which, why would God give us a foreskin, then demand that we cut it off? That’s all fine and well now that we have sterile hospitals and all that, but back then, that required a visit to the butcher, and a chop with a rusty blade! WHY HAST THOU FORESAKEN MEEEEE!

Put it this way… there are two good reasons to get your son circumcized:

No. 1: If you plan for your son to be really filthy dirty. We’re talking Pigpen dirty. We’re talking smells like the asshole of Satan dirty. Come to think of it, Murray, Jr. has smelled like the asshole of Satan a few times (go wash yo’ ass, boy!), and he’s never had any infections down there. I realize YOURS got infected and all that, meanwhile, there are African bush tribes sleeping in huts and their little flesh calamari isn’t rotting away! People who have tons of bladder infections should probably get their shit snipped, since it’ll just be stewing in infected piss, and that’s bound to lead to nothing good. Just ask R. Kelly. But just because ONE can’t hang with the foreskin, you don’t take EVERYONE’s away!

No. 2: You already got plans to send the boy off to war? Something about wallowing around in mudholes with many, many men doesn’t set too well with the foreskin. Maybe it’s the not showering for however long you’re in combat or maybe it’s eating all that hard tack, nonetheless, the foreskin is a very likely casualty of war.

So there you go. If you’re shooting for one of those futures for the boy, get that shit snipped right after the doc smacks him on the ass.

Otherwise, fuck that shit. Don’t break the boy’s dick! If it gets infected and has to come off later, so be it. People go ahead and do the whole circumcision thing later because they have this idea that “it will hurt if he has it done later.” IT’LL FUCKIN HURT NOW! Welcome to the world! *SMACK!* *SNIP* HOLY HELL, THIS WORLD SUCKS, PUT ME BACK IIIIIN!

Say no to the ancient Jews!

Now leave me the fuck alone.

Toilet Paper Dust Diverts Vegas-Bound Flight

All that time & money wasted to the shitter!
The fuel spent on the extra landing/take off. The paychecks of the law enforcement called, investigators, etc. The money spent on the airplane employees while they stood around waiting. Money wasted testing the substance at some lab. The money wasted on the transport of said substance. The time wasted of the travellers.

What about the lady who grounded a flight over not wanting to hear people speak in a non-english language?

Arabic Spoken? Plane Grounded.

I, personally, would consider this similar to placing a false call to the police and getting a fine for it. So dumb.

This is why we need IQ tests to be able to fly. We need one airline for people who just wanna get to where the fuck they’re going. Then, we need a separate motherfucking airline for all the dumb white trash, screaming babies, and that MOTHERFUCKER with the whining cat on the red eye from San Francisco to Pittsburgh. I’ll kill your pussy, stuff it with stale peanuts, and roast that shit up in the microwave if you don’t shut that feline up, motherfuckers!

HEY! Them are suspicious! Dey tawk fuh-nny! Captain! There is a terrorist on the wing of the plane! OH GOD HE’S GEE-HODDIN THE ENGINE! We’re all gonna DIIIIIEEE! AAAAHHHHHHH! Christ, when did these people start flying to go visit the LARGEST BALL OF MUD instead of just loading the family up in the Winnebago, like their fathers before them?

Holy shit we’re living in a fucked up place. Not that this country wasn’t full of morons before 9/11, but that day evidently gave them all some common rallying point to freak out, hoard some guns, and live in fear of everyone else.

Hell, just last week, the cops in Boston damn near shot some nerdy MIT teen who came into the airport wearing a shirt with a circuit board on it. Seriously, get a good look at that shit. It couldn’t have been any sillier if it had had the fucking Energizer Bunny strapped onto it:

And if you think that’s crazy, this woman was almost kicked off a flight just for being a ho:

I understand that bitch is loose and all, but she can’t be hiding more than 2-3 terrorists under that flimsy little outfit. Nothin to worry about, people!

So, the only option is to get all these fuckers their very own airline. Fly American Scarelines! Load ‘em all up, and let ‘em freak the fuck out about each other. Jack ‘em up on lots of caffeine, and point them toward the coordinates 4.815 162.342. Say hi to Hurley for me, fuckers.

Now leave me the fuck alone.

Currently listening : Paranoid By Black Sabbath Release date: 25 October, 1990